Smells Like Teen Panther (10/21/03)
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Something special's in the wind, people, and it's so close we can smell it! Can't you just smell it? Go on, grab yourself a lungful-- treat those nostrils. Snnnffffffffahhhhhhhhhhh! Unless we're sorely mistaken, that's the smell of Panther approaching, kids, and it's only three days away. That scent marks the impending end of an agonizing months-long wait and the imminent Exposé-ing of Mac users the whole world over. (Those with delicate sensibilities should avert their eyes.) Yes, that heady aroma will just keep getting stronger and stronger, until finally on Friday night at 8 we won't just be able to smell Panther; we'll also be able to see it, touch it, buy it, install it, and yes, even lick it. This is one odor that portends Great Things!

Oh, wait... that's not the smell of Panther approaching after all. It seems that we accidentally used Butter Flavor PAM as spray-on deodorant this morning. Never mind.

Great, now we smell like popcorn.

It's actually kinda nice, though.

Anyway, our point is that in just three short days Apple will be taking Mac OS X to its next big level-- and if you're really lucky, it's possible that you might score a copy a little bit early. According to AppleInsider, "a small number of Apple's select retail partners have reportedly received shipments of the Panther OS, though they are prohibited from distributing copies to customers until Friday evening." To which we can say only this: bribery, bribery, bribery! Or blackmail. Or possibly threats of physical violence. The point is, your local Mac resellers may have copies of Panther stashed in the back even as you read this, and there are all sorts of ways to "persuade" them to "forget" about that embargoed-'til-Friday mandate.

Then again, there's a decent chance that you'll be able to snag Panther a couple of days early without having to resort to unwholesome shenanigans at all. You might recall that when Mac OS X 10.0 first came out lo these many moons ago, it was officially released on Saturday, March 24th; however, apparently no one bothered to tell Staples that, because they had copies on the shelves as early as the previous Tuesday night. Staples doesn't appear to carry Mac operating systems anymore-- the wrath of Steve?-- but if you've really got a jones for Panther and you don't want to do anything borderline-illegal to get it early (oh, you're no fun anymore), you might consider scouting the shelves at big retailers likely to forget about the not-'til-Friday decree without your help.

Personally, we think we can wait until Friday night. Indeed, even though we've got a Family Pack on pre-order, we're planning to send an AtAT staff member or two to Night of the Panther anyway, just to witness the crazed throngs, hand out AtAT stickers, and get a chance to win a free iMac. We haven't decided if we're going to do Cambridgeside or Northshore yet, but we'll let you know. We can just smell the excitement!

Wait a minute... that's not excitement...


 
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The above scene was taken from the 10/21/03 episode:

October 21, 2003: If you put your mind to it, you just might be able to score a retail copy of Panther a few days early. Meanwhile, Apple takes definite steps toward expanding the iTunes Music Store north of the border, and Microsoft tests the terms of its antitrust settlement as the Justice Department watches, worries and even complains...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4283: Great White North Boogie (10/21/03)   Okay, we decline to mention how we know this ("We plead the fifth! The fifth, we tell you!"), but if you've ever wondered whether laundering money through iTunes gift certificates would allow Canadians (and anyone else) to circumvent the iTunes Music Store's "must have a credit card with a U.S. billing address" technical bugaboo, wonder no more-- it wouldn't. Trust us...

  • 4284: Tales Of The Implausible (10/21/03)   So is everyone digging the new fall shows? It's a magical time of year, you know, what with all the new televisual neatness saturating the airwaves. (New episodes of "The Brak Show" alone are enough to put a spring in our step.)...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1239 votes)

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