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If You Laugh, You're Sick (3/26/04)
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We know it's officially Wildly Off-Topic Microsoft-Bashing Day, but we already did the anti-Redmond thing this week (twice, actually), and we're pretty exhausted what with the crazy hours we've been keeping recently. So is it okay if we keep the obligatory wildly off-topic Microsoft-bashing short and on the mellow side today? Thanks. We knew you'd understand.
This one starts out pretty subtle, kiddies, and yet ultimately winds up being about as subtle as a kick in the teeth: faithful viewer peter sent us a link to, of all things, Bert & Bud's Vintage Coffins. Yes, coffins. Those box-things that dead bodies go in. It seems that Bert and Bud excel in the craft of manufacturing build-to-order caskets for people who live fast, die young, leave a good-looking corpse, and want a good-looking box to put it in. (If ya gotta go, you may as well go in style; being buried in a slick custom-made coffin is pretty much the only exception to that whole "you can't take it with you" maxim.)
What can this possibly have to do with Microsoft, you ask? Well, scope out Coffin #12, a "White Oak coffin stained a deep walnut color, with cast metal handles and a lift-off lid." Nice. Take a gander at the "tufted" interior upholstery-- pretty swanky, right? And here's the thing: according to Bert and/or Bud, this classy carcass-carton was "built for a Microsoft exec in Bellevue, WA."
So if you're a particularly rabid anti-Microsoft type, we figure that you might be strangely tickled by getting a peek at the receptacle in which at least one Microsoft exec will eventually rot underground. Sure, it's sick-- but hey, so's Windows. And by the way-- sorry, folks; Bill Gates lives in Medina, not Bellevue. But that doesn't mean you can't still fantasize.
But seek professional help afterwards. Sicko.
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SceneLink (4597)
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 3/26/04 episode: March 26, 2004: Dell sics the Better Business Bureau on Apple for claiming that the Power Mac G5 is the "world's fastest personal computer." Meanwhile, test-driving a Scion can score you ten bucks worth of tunage at the iTunes Music Store, and one alert viewer finds online pictures of an unnamed Microsoft exec's custom-built coffin...
Other scenes from that episode: 4595: (Semi-)Truth In Advertising (3/26/04) Wuh-oh, now Apple's in for it: the consumer watchdog groups are on its case! (Dun-dun-dun-DUNNNNNNN!) Faithful viewer Steve Chambers slid us a CNET article which reports that Apple has been contacted by the National Advertising Division of the Council of Better Business Bureaus, who advised the company against making "comparative performance claims" in future marketing campaigns... 4596: Drive, Mail, Wait, Listen (3/26/04) Hey, everybody, it's the weekend again-- and rather than sit idly by and watch you people waste your lives vegetating at home, we thought we'd propose a fun little activity that'll get you out of the house and onto the open road...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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