Revelation time! While AtAT's primary demographic is plenty old enough to understand all this already, we do occasionally get feedback from viewers as young as ten or eleven; if you've been around the block a few times in this crazy ol' world, what we're about to tell you won't come as any particular surprise, but circumstances warrant that we take this time to inform our younger and more fresh-faced viewers about some basic facts of life. No, this has nothing to do with birds and/or bees. Go pester mom and dad. Or better yet, just watch Showtime or go learn it on the street like the rest of us. What we're about to teach you is the true reason why Macintosh market share currently hovers in the 3% range.

Ready?

People are stupid.

Yes, it's true, kids: the vast majority of the population is brick-stupid, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be. (We can discuss this freely here, because AtAT viewers are highly intelligent individuals almost by definition, so we know that you're not stupid. But almost everyone else is.) Actually, "stupid" might not be the mot juste here; perhaps "congenitally credulous" might be a more appropriate phrase. In other words, there's a sucker born every minute, and nowhere is that made more clear than in Cheskin and Fitch:Worldwide's latest report, "Fast, Focused & Fertile: the Innovation Evolution," which examines the state of innovation in business today. (Faithful viewer Oliver was the first to point it out.)

If you're not up for downloading and perusing the full 35-page report, the company's press release contains enough data to support the thrust of our argument: "Microsoft was cited most frequently as one of today's most innovative companies (137 mentions) in unaided open-ended responses, followed by Dell (47 mentions), Apple (40 mentions)." (Incidentally, the press release gives Microsoft 137 mentions while the report says 135, but why split hairs? It's not like these people are in the business of looking intelligent or anything.)

Apply a little simple-minded math-- the only kind appropriate here-- and you'll find that not only is Apple considered less innovative than Dell, but it's also perceived to be less than a third as innovative as Microsoft. More from the report itself: "Microsoft specifically is credited for its consistent push to innovate." Pass the crack pipe, Larry! "Executives admired Dell's ability to expand its product offerings and aggressive pricing position, without losing its entrepreneurial values." Ahhh, so "cheap" is synonymous with "innovative." At least "Apple rose to the top on its courage and imagination."

And just whose opinions are represented in this report, you ask? None other than "544 executives with senior decision-making authority"-- in other words, the very suits that decide where their companies will be buying their next 3000 laptops. Is it any wonder that Apple has such a tough time cracking the enterprise market? But wait, it gets better! Apparently a hefty chunk of these decision-making suits slobbering all over themselves to praise the "innovation" of Microsoft and Dell have never heard of a dictionary; fewer than one in twenty bothered to consult Merriam-Webster to notice that "innovation" is "the introduction of something new" or "a new idea, method, or device": "Very few associated innovation with a more like term such as 'discovery' or 'revolution' which garnered less than 5% response from those surveyed."

Meanwhile, "over a quarter (26%) of companies define innovation as a solution: identifying and addressing the unmet needs of consumers." Our high school English teacher is spinning in her grave, and she's not even dead yet. She actually bought a plot, dug it up, climbed inside, and is spinning like a top even as we speak. Sigh. It's bad enough that the suits have fallen for the Microsoft/Dell innohype, but to think that one in four thinks that "innovation" means "solution"? Maybe "stupid" was the right word after all.