I Want My, I Want My DLD (6/5/03)
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In October of 2001, Apple unveiled the iPod, a best-of-breed digital audio player that integrated seamlessly with iTunes and changed the way we think about portable music. (At least, that's what this here brochure tells us. We'd probably choose to describe it as "that shiny thing that punched a $399 hole right through the net worth of every music lover with an ounce of taste"-- which is presumably why Apple isn't paying us big bucks to write ad copy.) Approximately .004 milliseconds later, obsessive Mac fans immediately commenced the endless speculation as to what Apple's next "digital lifestyle device" would be. iHairDryer? iVacuumCleaner? iGeorgeForemanLeanMeanGrillingMachine? The possibilities seemed endless.

Well, okay, no they didn't. In fact, the possibilities seemed pretty darn limited. Since the iPod was a mobile extension of iTunes, any other new DLD (as all the cool kids are calling them) would most likely be a pivotal piece of equipment that integrated nicely with one of Apple's other iApps-- and since Apple has yet to ship even beta releases of iSalon, iRugSuck, or iBoxingThemedCookoutStuff, the above suggestions seem unlikely. (On so many levels.) At the time, the other iApps were pretty much limited to iDVD, iMovie, and iPhoto-- strongly implying that if Apple were indeed to crank out a new DLD, it'd probably be a digital still or video camera.

Traditionally, though, we've pooh-poohed that idea as unlikely, largely for the same reason that Uncle Steve recently cited as Apple's rationale for not making its own mobile phone: other companies already make plenty of good ones, and Apple wouldn't bring much to the party. But maybe we were wrong about the camera deal after all; faithful viewer Sledgehammer Smythe points out that Think Secret has an update on the DLD mystery: alongside an imminent update to iChat, Apple reportedly may ship "some sort of video camera" to take advantage of that app's new videoconferencing capabilities.

Personally, we've never understood what all the hoo-haa over videoconferencing is about. We like phones precisely because you can't see what we look like; anonymity can be your friend. For example, if there were a webcam on us right now, you'd know that we're producing this episode naked except for balloon animal hats, and our veil of professionalism would be severely compromised. Still, we're willing to give Apple the benefit of the doubt, and if this alleged camera does indeed exist, we're sure that Uncle Steve's Best and Brightest will find wonderful uses for it that just plumb never occurred to us in the slightest. Meaning, something other than live 'net porn.


 
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The above scene was taken from the 6/5/03 episode:

June 5, 2003: Rumor has it that Apple's working on some sort of video camera to ship alongside the upcoming videoconferencing-enabled update to iChat. Meanwhile, Microsoft may be preparing to ditch the Mac platform completely, and Apple sets a date for the Chestnut Hill retail grand opening...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3995: "Abort, Retry, Vamoose" (6/5/03)   Say, remember when we recently noted that Microsoft reps had revealed that apparently "Redmond Justice" was all a dream somebody had on "Dallas" and the company was therefore dropping development of all standalone versions of Internet Explorer in favor of tying it completely into Windows?...

  • 3996: Gotta Support The Team (6/5/03)   Consider this a call to arms, Boston-area Mac fans: MacMinute noticed that Apple has officially set the grand opening date for the Apple Store Chestnut Hill, and the magic day is a week from this Saturday...

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