Mass Assimilation (5/5/98)
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Today we came across not one, but two stories about ex-Apple execs who are currently siding with Microsoft on various topics. They serve as a great reminder about the ubiquity of the Redmond Giant in the industry.

First there's the more disappointing fact: Heidi Roizen, who used to head up Apple's developer relations organization, is now spending a few days a month as a consultant for Microsoft, acting as an "ambassador" to Silicon Valley's "Microsoft-phobic tech community," according to the San Jose Mercury News. That just goes to show how smart Microsoft really is, because Heidi was just about the only thing Mac developers liked about Apple when she was with the company. (We must say, we feel a little less concerned about Microsoft's apparent plans for world domination when we read that Heidi characterizes them as a "fundamentally ethical enterprise that wants to do the right thing." We have a hard time believing she could be so easily fooled.)

Then there's the more expected story about the sugar-water man himself, John Sculley, siding with Microsoft in the big Windows 98 battle; read about it yourself in the Computer Reseller News. Sculley says he is "basically opposed to the government sticking their fingers in it." Fair enough. But the really telling bit of the article is when Sculley is asked if the antitrust actions are actually "stifling innovation," as Microsoft constantly claims; the best Sculley can come up with is, "I never thought of Microsoft as an innovator, but they are the best implementers in the world." And there, ladies and gentlemen, is a man who can evade a question and still kiss corporate butt in the same sentence. Makes you proud, doesn't it?

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 5/5/98 episode:

May 5, 1998: Apple still knows how to play the suspense game, as the Mac-using world waits and wonders what's on the agenda for tomorrow's big event. Meanwhile, Intuit is wooed back to the Mac platform by the irresistible charms of Steve Jobs and Apple's upcoming consumer plans, and a couple of ex-cast members are now playing bit parts in Microsoft's grand epic...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 676: What Did Barnum Say? (5/5/98)   So tomorrow's the big day-- or at least Apple would certainly like us to think so. Several faithful viewers contacted us to point out that Apple's entire web site (with the exception of the Support site) was replaced by a single teaser ad...

  • 677: Reversal of Fortune (5/5/98)   As for today's big announcement, that would have to be the joint press release issued by Apple and Intuit, indicating that Quicken is back for the Mac. In a reversal of its decision made public a couple of weeks ago, Intuit now says that it will in fact develop Quicken 99 for the Macintosh platform, and in addition, Apple and Intuit will work together to "develop new personal finance opportunities for Macintosh users on the web."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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