Wow, it's like clockwork: evidently every 7.28 years, the CEO of Dell Computer has to come out and say something two parts mean and three parts stupid about Apple to the press. Back in late '97, the CEO was company founder Mike Dell, who, when asked what he'd do if he were in charge of Apple, replied that he'd "shut it down and give the money back to the shareholders." Today, of course, the shareholders are awfully glad that ol' Mike wasn't running the company-- at least, Apple's shareholders are.

But now Dell's CEO is some shmoe named Kevin Rollins, and as faithful viewer Ken Drake points out, the traditional duty of the Seven-Year Smack-Talk has fallen to him. Any guesses as to what he's come up with? Go on, guess. Seriously, just take a wild stab at it. Oh, never mind-- it's so goofy you'll never come up with it in a million years unless you inject yourself with Steve Ballmer Missing Link Anti-Logic stem cells, as Rollins apparently has: according to Silicon.com, ol' Kev has decided that the iPod is a "fad" and a "one-product wonder," because-- get this-- "the iPod has been out for three years and it's only this past year it's become a raging success." Because in his mind, see, a "fad" is evidently a product that takes time to build demand based on word of mouth and customer delight, as opposed to an irrational craze that sparks up instantaneously and then fizzles out just as quickly. And we're sure that's correct in whatever sunny alternate dimension his alleged brain resides during these cold winter months.

Wait, because it gets better-- when fishing for an example of another "fad" to which he can disparagingly compare the iPod, he actually comes up with this: "When I was growing up there was a product made by Sony called the Sony Walkman-- a rage, everyone had to have one. Well you don't hear about the Walkman anymore."

In other words, the iPod will wind up fading from the public eye just as quickly as that failure the Walkman did. So make sure you sell off all your Apple stock in, say, eighteen or twenty years before that happens. Write yourself a note so you don't forget.

Interestingly, Silicon.com (one of the more overtly anti-Apple 'net publications we've encountered) doesn't ask Rollins the obvious follow-up questions: if the iPod is just a trivial "fad" and doesn't represent part of a "sustainable strategy" ("Music? Just a passing phase! Mark my words: in three years, no one will be listening to music anymore!"), then why, pray tell, did Dell clone the iPod in every way except looks, style, and ease of use when it introduced the ludicrously poor-selling Dell Digital Jukebox? And why has the company bothered to update that product to be (it hopes) marginally less sucky? And why has it released a new "Pocket" model that shamelessly rips off the iPod mini? And why will it probably ship a screenless, flash-based "DJ Random" or whatever once the first iPod shuffle sales numbers hit the stands?

But in the end, we really have to thank Mr. Rollins for tipping us off about the iPod being as short-lived a fad as the Sony Walkman. We've got our fingers on the "SELL" button right now, awaiting that fateful day in the 2020s when it all comes crashing down around us. Any decade now!

This scene was taken from the 1/18/2005 episode:

		Wednesday, 1:59 AM: Dell's CEO calls the iPod a "fad"-- like the Sony Walkman. (!) Meanwhile, Apple reveals some details about the return of the Pepsi iTunes Music Promotion, and some Europeans are a little miffed at Apple for overcharging them for the Mac mini...

Other scenes from this episode include:

Yellow Cap Fever, Take 2: We sure hope your kidneys weren't planning to slack off this year, because they're about to get the workout of their entire renal career: faithful viewer neopod tipped us off to the fact that Apple has officially posted a teaser page for the return of the Pepsi iTunes Music Promotion, which, according to the posted rules, officially kicks off at the end of this month... Scene

Bleed The Continentals Dry: Oh, no-- Europeans are up in arms because Apple priced the Mac mini too high! At least, that's what CNET reports, as it tells of an online petition protesting Apple's decision to charge €489 for the entry-level mini, which, at today's exchange rate, comes to roughly $639.19-- a whopping $140.19 more than the US price, or 28 percent higher. And sure, we'd be the first to agree that a pricing discrepancy that out of control would warrant even such drastic action as asking a bunch of random 'net surfers to type in their names and click a button... Scene

Click on one to see it. Or perhaps you'd like to see the whole episode as originally broadcast?

Bored? Take a trip down memory lane and see what happened One Year Ago, Two Years Ago, Three Years Ago, Four Years Ago, Five Years Ago, or even Six Years Ago today! Or leave your entertainment up to the fates, and see a Random Episode...

What disappoints you most about the video iPod 1.0?
	It doesn't get Cinemax
	It requires far too much physical effort to cram a DVD into the Dock connector
	You can't stick your face in the screen like with the TV in Videodrome
	Showing home movies on the iPod makes it too easy for viewers to escape
	I can fit 140 hours of TV in my pocket, but it sure is a hassle lugging this couch everywhere I go
(63157 votes)