When Is Java Not Java? (3/6/98)
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Remember the last time Microsoft introduced a new version of Java? It caused a lawsuit. Microsoft released Internet Explorer 4 with an implementation of Java with certain classes removed, prompting Sun to sue for breach of contract. After all, the point of Java is that it runs anywhere-- it's not Java if you change it.

Which is, of course, why Microsoft's doing everything they can to subvert the language. A programming language whose applications can run on any platform starts to erase the tons-o-software advantage of Microsoft Windows. So it's not at all surprising that Microsoft's escalating the war by screwing with Java even more. According to the San Jose Mercury News, next week Microsoft plans to unveil a new programming language that they are trying "to avoid characterizing as Java," but is "clearly their Java strategy." It's essentially Java with some extra Windows-only extensions thrown in.

It is, however, a great example of Microsoft's legendary chutzpah that, while they're being sued for contaminating Java, they go right ahead and contaminate it even more. At the same time, they're not stupid-- they're apparently tiptoeing around actually calling the new language "Java." Brilliant, isn't it? Take the hippest programming language out there, change it so it doesn't work on anything but Windows, name it something else to avoid further legal action, rely on your 90% of the desktop OS market to force people to use your new implementation, and you've effectively erased the cross-platform danger. Wonder what the Department of Justice thinks about this?

 
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The above scene was taken from the 3/6/98 episode:

March 6, 1998: The Newton protest more closely resembled a love-in than, say, Kent State. Meanwhile, Apple and Global Village are locked in high-level talks, the subject of which is anyone's guess, and Microsoft is still trying to force Java through a meat-grinder...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 510: Low-Key and Laid Back (3/6/98)   It would appear that our concern over the Newton protest was unwarranted. It seems to have been a civilized and relaxed display, with restraint and understanding shown on both sides of the issue-- and nary a pitchfork or Molotov cocktail in sight...

  • 511: Cost-Cuts --> Buyouts (3/6/98)   We realized with a shock that it's been a long, long time since this show has featured buyout rumors of a highly speculative and unlikely nature. Since we certainly don't like to disappoint, we'd like to mention the item over at Mac OS Rumors that raises the possibility of Apple purchasing Global Village, the makers of fine networking and communications products...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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