Something wicked this way comes-- or if not wicked, at least horribly misshapen and deformed. No, we're not making an oblique reference to any high-placed political figures (at least not consciously), but rather to the long-awaited low-cost G3-based home Mac known as Artemis. Artemis has a couple of problems. The first is simply that it doesn't exist yet; at a time when a sizeable percentage of computers sold cost less than $1000, Apple doesn't have a comparably-priced model. Unless you count the $799 eMate, which, of course, becomes essentially moot after today anyway.

It's the second problem, however, which is the more interesting; Artemis seems doomed to be one ugly puppy. You may recall descriptions of the prototype all-in-one case, when the first units were seeded to testers last November or so. A Mac OS Rumors source described the case as having "big ugly humps on its back" and "a face that could scare children." Soon after, Reality mentioned that the design was reminiscent of "one of the pink bug-eyed things you kill in Super Mario Brothers 2." And Apple received so much negative feedback from its testers that they wisely went back to the drawing board.

We had heard that subsequent designs (which were not all-in-one cases, but rather 6500-esque tower cases) were significantly improved. Today, however, Mac the Knife reveals that the curse of Artemis continues... According to the edged implement, the latest design has reverted to an all-on-one paradigm, but now resembles "nothing so much as a giant tooth perforated with quarter-inch holes." (Of course, you should ascribe to this report only as much trust as you as you have in the Knife's sense of taste.)

It sure would be a shame if Apple finally released a super-fast, low-cost machine and the average consumer wouldn't buy it because it was butt-ugly-- especially given Apple's history with attractive and functional industrial design. We find this continuing curse of unsightly design more than a little out of place, now that Steve Jobs is calling the shots. After all, we still feel that one of the sleekest and most beautiful computers ever made was his black NeXT cube. But then again, his latest decision to discontinue the eMate renders his sense of taste immediately suspect. At this point it's only a matter of time before he's spotted wearing white shoes and plaid polyester golf pants.