Ah, debt: the real national pastime. Check those credit card balances, people, because federal guidelines state that if you're not carrying at least six figures' worth, you just may be some sort of communist. Well, okay, technically, it doesn't have to be credit card debt; debt comes in all the colors of the rainbow, and they're all beautiful and patriotic in their own way. Whether you slapped that brand new PowerBook on some existing plastic or took out an Apple Instant Loan for it, the important thing is that you're consuming beyond your means, and for that we salute you.

But what's this? According to Think Secret, the Apple Instant Loan program is no more, having been spirited away to the Great Dead Debt-Plan Thingy in the Sky. So now how are people going to spend much more money on Apple equipment than they actually have? Sure, there are always credit cards, but every good consumer has already long maxed all of those out, feeding the economy by only making the minimum payments each month. So what can people do if they need an extra ten grand of breathing room to squeeze in that dual-2.5 GHz Power Mac and matching pair of 30-inch Cinema Displays they so desperately need to complement the decor in the rumpus room?

Well, if they're buying from a third-party reseller, their only option right now is apparently to take out a personal loan from that guy in the nice Italian suit standing over there with the two big guys with baseball bats, because as of yet, Apple has apparently neglected to offer a replacement for the Instant Loan program to resellers. (Listen! Hear that scratching sound? That's the pens of the plaintiffs in the reseller lawsuits taking notes.) However, for anyone buying from the Apple Store online or at an Apple retail store, there's the new Apple Credit Account-- and boy, you're all gonna love this: it's yet another credit card!

Yes, folks, the Apple Credit Account works pretty much the same as the old Instant Loan program: you can still apply online and be spending money you don't actually have in less than a minute, and the interest rates are comparable to whatever borderline usury you're paying to the fatcat bank who gave you your credit cards. The big difference (other than not being available from third-party resellers yet) is what Apple describes as "flexible spending": "The Apple Credit Account provides you with a MasterCard credit card... you can also use it for purchases wherever MasterCard is accepted." So you can get approved at the mall, buy iPods for all your pets, and then use whatever's left over on your card to buy lunch at the Olive Garden down the hall. How cool is that?

We have to say, it's nice to see the return of the Apple credit card. About a decade ago, Citibank offered one that any true Mac fan snapped up at light speed-- mostly because it was a credit card with the freakin' Apple logo on it, but also because every purchase earned points redeemable for up to $1500 off on new Apple merchandise. (Yes, we had one; yes, we managed to max out the awards points and get $1500 worth of free Apple gear. As if you really had to ask.) Unfortunately, that program was cancelled ages ago, and as far as we've heard, the new Apple Credit Account card doesn't offer the same rewards. At the very least we're hoping it has an Apple logo on it, but we have no info on that topic to report at this time.

Still, it's an Apple credit card, of sorts, and it's still another way to buy a new Mac without cash up front. Of course, we're still waiting for a truly innovative payment plan-- something along the lines of the one Apple teased us with in commercials way back in 1998. In other words, when oh when will we finally be able to buy a new iMac by mailing in three pizzas every month?