Hey, no fair! Nobody told us that Apple retail stores are dishing out swag to n-millionth customers. And when we say "swag," we're not talking about that chintzy promo stuff you may have gotten at an Apple store in the past, like a grand opening t-shirt or a wholly inexplicable (though admittedly nice) set of Panther dog tags or whatever. If you scope out the Apple Store SoHo web page, you'll notice an "In the news" sidebar with a story about "SoHo's two millionth customer"-- and photos of her grinning like mad and clutching her brand new iBook G4, silver miniPod, AirPort Express, and more. Granted, it's no 17-inch PowerBook, 40 GB iPod, and 10,000 free songs like Apple gave away for the 100 millionth iTunes Music Store download, but still, that's some serious winnin's for the mere act of walking through a doorway.

Now, we're not sure if this is strictly a SoHo thing, or if other Apple retail stores also throw a couple thousand clams' worth of in-demand gear at their n-millionth customers. We tend to think it might just be a "flagship store" kinda thing-- you know, big press for the big stores, etc., but on the other hand we wouldn't expect Apple to play favorites like that. Then again, we don't recall SoHo ever sliding a goody bag to its one millionth customer, although we're admittedly only semiconscious most of the time and we may well have missed it. The bottom line here is that with only a single datum it's tough to establish a pattern, but we imagine that it's fairly safe to assume that, if you happen to be the n-millionth customer at one of the higher-profile Apple stores, you'll be showered with riches and fame and you'll be well on your way down the path to international superstardom.

What this means, of course, is that there's now a simple way to score a free iBook, miniPod, and accessories (or whatever the next prize pack will turn out to be). All you have to do is get to New York or Chicago or whatever, stake out the entrance of your favorite flagship Apple retail store, and wait a few weeks or months for the next winner to be greeted at the door. Then you simply need to spend a few more months counting each and every warm body that passes through the entrance, and once the total gets close to the next big milestone, saunter up to the doorway and traipse across just in time to become the next "lucky" winner. What could be easier?

Of course, if you wind up making a teensy little error and you wind up as Mr. 4,000,001 or whatever, no harm done; just return to your stakeout post, wait for the 5 millionth winner, and start counting up to 6 million. It may take you a few tries, but after a couple of years or so, we're sure you'll eventually pull it off. Best of all, it's totally free. Score!