Speaking of potential threats to this iPodular paradise on earth which we lucky 21st-century mortals enjoy so much, we know we're supposed to be worrying about the Inducing Infringement of Copyrights Act that's allegedly poised to expose Apple to lawsuits that could cost the company billions of dollars in damages per iPod, but we just can't focus what with the more immediate trouble facing the company. Granted, this legislation is a sticky situation; should the bill become law, it's so broadly-worded that the RIAA could theoretically sue Apple on the grounds that selling iPods is "inducing" customers to pirate music, and according to a lawyer quoted in USA Today, such an action could conceivably end in fines for Apple of up to "$150,000 per song." Since a 40 GB iPod can hold 10,000 pirated songs, the law could "make Apple potentially liable for $1.5 billion per iPod."

That would, indeed, be kindasorta a problem. And we definitely think you might want to check out SaveTheiPod.com to see how you can pester your Congressional reps about voting against this poorly-constructed piece of legislation while it's just a bill, yes it's only a bill, and it's sitting there on Capitol Hill. (Just fill out a quick online form and they'll take care of sending an honest-to-goshness fax for you, which is just what we were hoping for: activism for the inherently slothful. Nice.)

But like we said, we're having trouble getting too worked up about the Inducing act while Apple faces a far greater threat-- namely, its apparently pathetic hockey skills. Faithful viewer ToddAC pointed out a Mercury News article which mentions briefly that Apple's annual JavaOne hockey match against Sun ended with Apple losing 7 to 1. Yes, 7 to 1. Ouch.

Before this, we figured the two companies were fairly evenly matched (Apple won last year, but lost in 2002), but a 7-1 loss strongly implies otherwise. It's true that Steve Jobs wasn't present to help out with a Reality Distortion Field blast from the stands, but even so, this wasn't even close-- we didn't see the game, but the score speaks for itself. This was a blowout, plain and simple.

So here's what bugging us about this whole hockey thing: Given Apple's poor showing this time around, does anyone see a connection between a 7-1 hockey loss and the company's failure thus far to introduce retail stores or the iTunes Music Store to our stick-swingin' neighbors to the north? We're trying to determine the direction of causality, here. On the one hand, Apple may simply be so indifferent to all things Canadian that its slow retail and musical expansion across the border are symptoms of the same disinterest that leads to crushing hockey defeats. The other possibility, though, is that Apple's frustration at lacking skills on the ice has triggered an antipathy to Canada, which has in turn led to the company's dragging its feet on getting retail and music stores into the Great White North. Chicken? Egg? Back bacon?

Or we suppose it could all just be a total coincidence. But really, when does that ever happen?