Where Did THIS Come From?... (6/7/04)

Wow, every once in a while one of these things flies in right under the radar, huh? Were we the only ones who made a Feissian noise of inarticulate confusion upon seeing Apple's home page trumpeting the release of AirPort Express? Because when faithful viewer Adam Lang mentioned it, we figured he was just toying with us in a cruel Pavlovian fashion-- mention surprise new Apple gear, witness uncontrollable drooling, hand us a mop, lather, rinse, repeat. But no; it's a Real Thingy™, and the copious saliva expenditure was justified... because this puppy looks really freakin' cool.

Well, maybe not "looks" in a strictly aesthetic sense, mind you; after all, it looks pretty much like a current PowerBook AC adapter with no cord and a few ports drilled into its side-- attractive, sure, but not "cool" as in "original Base Station silver UFO from a '50s sci-fi flick with aliens with British accents and names like 'Gork' and 'Zyron'" cool.

No, we meant "looks" as in "is perceived as," because this thing is practically a full-fledged AirPort Extreme Base Station packed into a white plastic box roughly the size of two 40 GB iPods glued together, and the weight of just one of them plus one Oreo. (Yes, we weighed an Oreo. Well, technically it was a Hint o' Mint Newman-O, but we're assuming the weight difference is negligible.) You plug it directly into a wall outlet (or use the optional power extension cord, apparently sold separately), plug in an Ethernet cable running to the local network, and bam-- your AirPort-equipped Macs can all reach the network wirelessly.

Why is this cool, you ask? Well, because with more and more hotels offering broadband Internet these days, you can tote along an AirPort Express and use it without having a big ugly cable hanging out of your PowerBook tethering you to the wall. Better still, you and your laptop-lugging traveling companion can both share the broadband simultaneously without fighting over who gets to use the cord-- a conflict which invariably ends in either the emergency room or the local police lock-up. Uh, so we're told. [Cough]

Oh, but it gets better. There's also a USB port so you can wirelessly share a compatible printer, and-- this is the biggie-- an audio jack. Yes, AirPort Express boasts a nifty feature called "AirTunes," which essentially links iTunes directly to an AirPort Express unit so you can play your music through a connected stereo or set of powered speakers. No need to plug them into your PowerBook; plug them into AirPort Express instead and leave your laptop unfettered and ready to boogie. (The single audio jack supports both analog and optical digital connections.)

As always, there are a few catches, but none of them is a real smackdown. The first is that AirTunes only works with iTunes 4.6, which won't be available until "later this week." But that's not much of a problem considering the second catch, which is that, according to Apple's press release, AirPort Express itself won't be available until the middle of next month. The third isn't so much a catch as it is a simple fact of life: Stuff Costs Money. AirPort Express carries a sticker price of $129, which is actually pretty darn good considering everything it does; however, Apple's suggestion that you "connect one to every stereo or set of powered speakers in your house" strikes us as the blithe suggestion of a guy who cleared almost $75 million last year.

All told, though, AirPort Express sounds like a winner-- and we're sorely tempted to get one for the living room even though our TiVo already streams wirelessly from iTunes playlists, because TiVo still can't play iTunes Music Store songs, and it'd be nice to stream directly from Party Shuffle, etc. As always, our deepest gratitude to Apple for providing yet another excuse for us to sink deeper into debt. Woo-hoo!

SceneLink (4739)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 6/7/04 episode:

June 7, 2004: Apple announces AirPort Express, a teensy wireless base station that can also stream your iTunes music straight to your stereo. Meanwhile, the company invites the press to a special music event in London in a week's time (Euro iTMS, anyone?), and rumors fly that Apple will ship a G5 speed bump after all-- tomorrow...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4740: A Week To Euro iTMS. Really! (6/7/04)   Meanwhile, elsewhere on the music front, we've got some good news for the Brits out there (for a change): smile, you may soon be as broke as we all are! Faithful viewer Boesterama forwarded us a BBC News article which reports that "Apple has called a press conference for 15 June, saying 'the biggest story in music is about to get even bigger.'" Gee, and this special event is scheduled to happen at Old Billingsgate Market in London...

  • 4741: Brace Yourselves, Kiddies (6/7/04)   Geez, after something of a famine last week, between AirPort Express today and a "mysterious" (hee hee hee) music-related announcement slated for a special press event in London in a week or so, we're all feeling nice and full, right?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1250 votes)

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2024 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).