Oh, thank heavens-- for a second there, we thought we might have to gnaw off a limb or two for any sort of plot development today, but mere seconds before we gave our chompers a serious workout, Apple came to our rescue with just enough news to keep us from going all freak-show on you all. So sorry, folks, there'll be no bloodletting and veins-in-teeth today (at least, not on camera); looks we'll be able to save that as a contingency plan for November Sweeps after all. Don't you just love it when a plan comes together?

So here's the crumb of interest that Apple tossed us: faithful viewer macMaestro tipped us off (via MacMinute) to the fact that Mac OS X 10.3.4 is now available for your Software Updating pleasure. It's apparently a fairly significant update, too, because it weighs in at 40ish MB, which is by no means a record, but it's still a fair chunk o' code that-- and we're using the technical phrase, here-- "messes with a whole bunch of stuff." Amongst its "key enhancements" are such diverse elements as: "improved file sharing"; updated graphics drivers and 3D support; improved disc burning; expanded FireWire and USB compatibility (including, strangely enough, USB 2.0 support for iPods); unspecified improvements to Address Book, Safari, Stickies, Mail, and QuickTime Player; fear; surprise; ruthless efficiency; and an almost fanatical devotion to the Pope.

Sounds great, doesn't it? Of course, we won't actually be installing it for a couple of days, what with Apple's on-again, off-again habit of posting software updaters that wreak varying amounts of havoc with specific Macs and third-party software, and occasionally even flirt with Lady Irretrievable Data Loss (who, as you all know, can be a harsh mistress). Seeing as we're not in a reckless mood right now, we'll let the Early Adopters™ rush in and test the waters. We'd recommend that all of you wait, too, but, well... if no one goes first, we'll be waiting forever. So if you're in a relaxed state of mind, feel free to install the update and let us know if it deletes your custom mailboxes or makes your nose fall off or whatever.

So, yeah-- actual Mac-related news-type material direct from Apple, and amazingly enough it's got nothing to do with security flaws! Well, almost nothing, anyway; sure, the 10.3.4 updater includes a whole mess of recent Security Updates built in, but that doesn't really count, does it? And, of course, only time will tell if 10.3.4 includes a security hole that allows remote attackers to read your mail, raid your fridge, and drink straight out of your milk carton. You'll, uh, tell us if any of that happens to you, too, right? You know, while you're tending to the nose thing? Thanks.