The Microsoft Xboxintosh (3/1/04)
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Yikes, just yikes. Remember those reports that Microsoft is switching from the x86 to the PowerPC as it prepares its sequel to the Xbox game console? The Xbox 2 must be at least a year from shipping, given that its hardware design hasn't even been finalized yet-- but one thing that we do know is that it'll pack some form of IBM-designed PowerPC. And given the claims that "Microsoft has begun developing game prototypes, and it is using [Apple] G5 systems to do so," there's no particular reason to think that whatever gets soldered onto Xbox's motherboard won't be the exact same future G5 (or, by then, G6) chip that'll be pumping away inside Apple's next Macs. And since the Xbox is the only actual computer that Microsoft makes, that says something pretty strong about the company's evaluation of x86 versus PowerPC technology.

So settling on the same chip technology is disquieting enough. But now faithful viewer Jim Banks informs us that The Inquirer has gone a step further, reporting that Microsoft has just seeded an "XBOX 2 SDK" (Software Development Kit) to certain big-name games developers so they can get a head start on cobbling together some titles for the as-yet-nonexistent console. And here's the kicker: the SDK consists of software preinstalled on-- you see this coming a mile away, right?-- dual-processor Power Mac G5s. Yes, kiddies, Microsoft is shipping G5s to its third-party developers. Granted, The Inquirer isn't exactly an unimpeachable source, but if you want at least nominal corroboration, GamesIndustry (whoever that is) claims that the Microsoft-shipped G5 "has been confirmed by development sources."

Still not weird enough for you? Then consider this: the G5s in question are reportedly not running Mac OS X, but rather "a modified version of the Windows operating system core." Now, first of all, eeeyeeeewwwww! Secondly, are we interpreting this correctly? Microsoft has allegedly ported Windows-- albeit a massively stripped down version-- to Mac hardware? Because if so, it doesn't sound all that tough for Microsoft to keep right on building and eventually ship a boxed copy of full-on Windows for Macintosh. Granted, said version of Windows itself would run at native G5 speeds, but it wouldn't run existing Windows applications at all, since they're all x86 binaries. Gee, too bad Microsoft doesn't have some sort of x86 emulator-- say, one it might have bought last year-- it could build in to run x86 Windows apps in Windows for Macintosh.

Um...

Huh.

Well, only time will tell if Microsoft wants to go that way, but if it's technically possible, we can't see any reason why it wouldn't; after all, it's more copies of Windows sold. But even if the company doesn't go so far as to ship Windows for Macintosh, there's little question that this Xbox 2 thingy already shares a fair amount of ancestral DNA with our own beloved platform. Seriously, what are we supposed to make of this? "The SDK apparently also features an Apple logo on a side bar within the application." Come on, now they're just messing with us, right? Right?

 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 

The above scene was taken from the 3/1/04 episode:

March 1, 2004: Apple and Pixar both win big at the Oscars. Meanwhile, the miniPod's success appears to have inspired Apple to open ministores as well, and Microsoft allegedly ships Xbox 2 developer software-- preloaded on G5s...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4538: "And The Oscar Goes To..." (3/1/04)   Hey, pardon the lateness, but you know, we're just getting in from those fabulous after-hours Oscars parties where we've been whooping it up with Hollywood's A-list for about twenty hours straight, so we're pretty exhausted...

  • 4539: Maximum Capacity: Two (3/1/04)   Meanwhile, how about them thar miniPods? Looks like all the teeth-gnashing and hair-pulling about the $249 sticker price was much ado about squat, because reportedly Apple can't keep up with the demand; the New York Daily News has a great article on mini madness and the resulting "Sold Out" signs going up across the country, with a near-suicidal investment manager who missed his chance ("I had it in my hands, and then I lost it") and an Apple spokesperson describing the public's hunger for the new player as "phenomenal."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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