Go East... And Do The Dew (2/9/04)

So we're getting a lot of this these days: "Where are the bottles?" Here we are, over a week into the Pepsi-iTunes giveaway, and lots of viewers are reporting that Pepsi bottles in their towns are remaining stubbornly non-iTunes-enabled. Far more people inform us that, in their local stores, only Diet Pepsi has shown up with the Apple logo on the bottle indicating a 1-in-3 shot at winning a free song, while Pepsi and Sierra Mist are still their usual ungambly selves. Seeing as we've witnessed the "Diet Only" situation in several stores here in the Boston area, we're taking people at their word.

So, once again you ask, where are those 300 million specially-marked bottles? And the answer, of course, is... they're around. "Yeah, but around where?" Just AROUND, around. See, inventory differences from store to store will certainly affect whether they've got new bottles in the cooler yet, but trust us, they're out there. What, are you accusing us of trying to cover up some massive scandal about criminally uneven contest bottle distribution? That's preposterous! Why would Pepsi engage in geographical discrimination for a giveaway promotion? And even if they did, why would we try to hide it?

What's that? You say you've seen the map over at iPod Garage?

Oh, crud.

Okay, fine, we admit it: as the iPod Lounge's handy U.S. map showing locations with confirmed free song winners reveals, there does seem to be a marked concentration in iTunes bottles in the eastern half of the country. We haven't a clue as to why Pepsi seems to be favoring the East, but it should be pretty obvious by now why we didn't want to mention the phenomenon in the first place: we're Easterners, and the last thing we need is millions of iTunes freaks from the left half of the country crossing state lines for the express purpose of drinking our Pepsi products and claiming all of our winning bottle caps. So stay put, willya? We're thirsty over here.

Besides, as it turns out, you don't even need a specially-marked bottle to win-- or even a bottle of the right freakin' soft drink. As Bill Palmer reveals at the iPod Garage, he won a free song in the cap from his one-liter bottle of Mountain Dew purchased in Florida. You may recall the uproar and furor in the geek community when the Dew was omitted from the giveaway (it is, after all, Nature's Weird Green Kick in the Ass), but if one Dew bottle can be a winner, doesn't it seem likely that there are more floating around out there somewhere?


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The above scene was taken from the 2/9/04 episode:

February 9, 2004: Disney partners with Microsoft and bans Segways-- are we witnessing the Wrath of Eisner? Meanwhile, amid geographical scandal, one person finds a winning iTunes bottle cap on the completely wrong product, and if you weren't a Grammy presenter last night, you missed out on a perfectly good free iPod...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4496: Eisner: Salting The Earth (2/9/04)   So things are looking a mite sketchy for Disney CEO Michael Eisner these days, what with ex-board members Roy Disney and Stan Gold pushing investors to give him the boot-- and, of course, Steve Jobs nixing a continued Disney-Pixar relationship, depriving Disney of billions of dollars' worth of future revenue and adding fuel to the fire that's about to singe Mike's heinie...

  • 4498: Free 'Pods For The Famous (2/9/04)   Say, weren't the Grammy Awards last night or something? Did we miss a whole evening's worth of music we've never heard thumped out by performers we've never heard of, interspersed with extravagantly-dressed celebrities reading terrible dialogue directly off of cue cards and occasionally handing golden Victrolas to even more performers we've never heard of?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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