Evidence Keeps Mounting (2/6/04)

And the conspiracy just keeps getting clearer and clearer! They called us mad at the university when we sought to reanimate the sutured flesh of the recently deceased-- and, well, okay, they were right about that one. (Lightning... What were we thinking?) But they also called us mad when we hinted that Steve Jobs's oh-so-public scuttling of the Disney-Pixar contract negotiations was deliberately timed as part of an elaborate conspiracy to pry Michael Eisner out of Disney's CEO spot, and the evidence on that one just keeps on piling deeper and deeper.

To refresh your memories, here's a quick rundown of what we know so far: a few months back, Walt's nephew Roy Disney got booted from the company's board of directors when Eisner pulled a maneuver with some "expected retirement age" clause that allegedly didn't even apply to Roy's position. Fellow board member Stan Gold resigned in disgust. There was a hint of solidarity between Stan/Roy and Steve Jobs when Stan told the press that Eisner had called both him and Steve "Shiite Muslims" as a derogatory term.

Throughout all this, Steve remained in negotiations for a Pixar-Disney contract renewal in 2006. Negotiations had proceeded for ten months when, suddenly, Steve announced to the world that Pixar and Disney were history, and Pixar was taking its ridiculously successful filmmaking talent elsewhere, depriving Disney of billions of dollars of future profit. Interestingly enough, Steve's announcement came just days after Stan and Roy had called for investors to oust Eisner at the next shareholders' meeting in March-- and right on the heels of Steve's announcement, the two issued a joint statement using the failed Pixar talks as evidence that Eisner had to go.

Suspicious, right? Just a little? As if there's some sort of collusion between Steve and Stan/Roy to try to get Eisner tossed out on his ear, to clear the CEO spot for... whom? Well, as faithful viewer Victor points out, the New York Post fits yet another massive piece of the puzzle into place: "Stanley Gold and Roy Disney think Steven Jobs, the renowned boss of Apple Computer and Pixar, would be just dandy as the head of Walt Disney Cos." Apparently when pressed on the matter, Stan stated that "Steve Jobs would absolutely be one of" the people he believes can run the company.

Of course, Stan denies that he's approached Steve about taking the job, and claims that Steve's never asked for it, either, but c'mon, what's he supposed to say? "Sure, Steve and Roy and I cooked up this whole crafty scheme in the treehouse one afternoon during our weekly meeting of the We Hate Eisner club"? Not likely. But with the revelations coming fast and furious, now, it's only a matter of time before the press stumbles upon a copy of the trio's detailed twelve-point outline of Project Oustketeer, complete with diagrams. (Eisner's the stick figure with the wavy stink lines.)

SceneLink (4495)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 2/6/04 episode:

February 6, 2004: Apple CFO Fred Anderson is retiring in June-- but at least he's joining the board of directors. Meanwhile, Apple release a public beta of iChat AV which can video conference with Windows users via AIM, and still more evidence of a conspiracy to put Jobs in Mickey ears arises as former Disney director Stan Gold admits that Steve would be perfect for the job...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4493: Fred, Retire? Shyeah, Right (2/6/04)   Nnnnooooooo!! Say it ain't so, Fred; say it ain't so! In case you haven't figured it out yet, we're still mired firmly in the Denial stage of grief regarding Apple's announcement that Fred "Fists of Fiscal Rage" Anderson is slated to retire from his long-held post as the company's Chief Financial Officer effective June 1st...

  • 4494: See Ugly Windows Friends! (2/6/04)   So here's why we don't chew gum: it starts out great, everything's bursting with flavor, it's like there's a party in our mouths and everyone's invited, etc. etc. etc. and then BAM, in about four minutes and totally out of nowhere, the flavor's gone and we're just chomping down repeatedly on some sort of bland rubber-like substance...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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