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Big Discounts On Kix AND Trix (1/5/04)
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The board is getting fuller, and Leon's getting LARGER! Have you ever felt that Apple's board of directors is weighing in just a couple of pounds light on the flamboyancy scale? Did you feel that Larry Ellison's departure in September of 2002 left a yawning glitz chasm too big for Al Gore to fill? (Truth be told, Larry does wear better suits.) Well, lighten up, Buttercup, because Apple has just announced a new addition to the company's board, and this one's going to knock your socks off: it's none other than Jim Lawrence!
Jim Lawrence. Lawrence. You know, the executive vice president and chief financial officer of General Mills?
The guys who make cereal. Right.
Oh, don't give us that look; we're sure Jim's a real madman. He was hand-picked by Steve, for gosh sakes, who plays up the man's "deep financial and international experience." Jim is a CFO, after all, so we assume he knows all about checks. (Wheat Chex... Corn Chex... Rice Chex...) And we don't care what you say-- anyone who's veeped at the place where they make Franken Berry, Boo Berry, and Count Chocula has mad street cred in our book. Just try doing your job with vampires and ghosts and stuff running around all the time. Okay, sure, the Franken Berry monster is pink, and he wears Elton John glasses, but he's still scary. Scarier, even, when you think about it.
And get this: way back when, it seems that Jim was the executive vice president of Pepsi-Cola in "Asia, the Middle East, and Africa." What is it with Steve recruiting Pepsi execs? You'd think he'd have learned by now that the ex-Pepsi guys are the ones who get you kicked out of your own company. Perhaps he's willing to risk it in order to hang around a guy who knows the Jolly Green Giant personally. Ho ho ho.
So the man hangs with Big Green, for Pete's sake-- admit he's cool, already. Still not convinced? Then listen up: General Mills also makes Pillsbury Toaster Strudel. Yeah, now you're impressed. Of course, they also make Go-GURT, but we'll try not to hold that against ol' Jim. Seriously, we're sure he's going to bring a lot to the table. For instance, Bugles-- and if the other board members are really lucky, Fruit Roll-Ups.
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SceneLink (4422)
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 1/5/04 episode: January 5, 2004: Tomorrow's the Stevenote! How will you tune in? Meanwhile, Apple announces a new board member (and he comes bearing Lucky Charms), and Cringely's predicting various ouches for Apple in 2004, including Wal-Mart beating down the iTunes Music Store...
Other scenes from that episode: 4421: 50 Ways To Love Your Leader (1/5/04) Welcome to 2004, everybuggy! Granted, we're already five days in, but we figured that half of you are just getting over your hangovers, and we also wanted to make sure we had broken all those pesky New Year's resolutions before we got back to full-on drama mode... 4423: More Stuff AFTER Tomorrow? (1/5/04) Well, if you're looking for Stevenote Eve rumormongering and last-minute speculation, sorry, but you're out of luck; we're all speculated out. Frankly, at this point we don't particularly care one way or the other whether miniPods surface tomorrow, whether they're Flash RAM- or disk-based, whether they come in colors (with or without stripes), whether they hit that magical $99 price point, or whether Apple claims they're produced from processed soy and lentils until Charlton Heston runs out on stage yelling that "they're people!"...
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