Someone Pass The Syrup (12/29/03)
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Slow news day? You bet your sweet bippy it's a slow news day. C'mon, seriously, what did you expect? We're smack in between Christmas and New Year's; everyone has checked out, if not physically, then certainly mentally. We know we sure have. In fact, we're thinking about brunch even as we write this. (Mmmmm, unexplained bacon.) Yeah, okay, the Expo's next week, but even so, nothing, and we mean nothing, is happening right now. Trust us-- when even major news sites like MacMinute take the week off, you know the whole scene is hibernating until January.

So what are our options? Well, first of all, we could tell you to stop being so obsessive, go elsewhere, and take up a hobby-- say, knitting, or maybe watch repair. The only problem there is that you might discover that there really is a world out there and never come back, which our advertisers might find a wee bit objectionable. Instead we could just flat out make stuff up, which we don't oppose for any sort of ethical reasons, but being creative takes effort, and like we said, we're too busy picturing corn muffins to bother. No, our best bet is probably to bleed an old, stale story three-quarters to death by rehashing it with only the thinnest of new information and then padding it mercilessly with complaints about slow news days and the occasional reference to brunch-appropriate foodstuffs. Sounds like a plan, Stan.

That said, hey, check it out! The latest vote of confidence in the validity of the ongoing miniPod rumors comes from MacRumors, who claims to have received "reliable confirmation" that new smaller iPods will debut in a week's time. Hard details are scarce; there's no more word on pricing or storage capacity, other than the fact that both will be lower than those of today's iPods. MacRumors only commits to affirming that 1) miniPods exist, 2) they'll be introduced next week, and 3) they will come "in a variety of solid colors." One new bit of information, here: one of those colors is said to be "Gold." Now, whether that's gold like goldenrod or gold like "there's gold in them thar hills" remains to be seen, but we hope it's the former. If it turns out to be the latter, we're going to have to start using the phrase "bling bling" all the time, and frankly, we're not at all sure we can pull it off.

By the way, if anyone out there is wondering just what "mini" means in terms of form factor, you might want to check out the NOMAD Muvo2, which ships in 1.5 GB and 4 GB capacities strangely similar to the 2 GB and 4 GB configurations rumored for the miniPods; we're guessing that Apple will be using the same drives. Then again, the MuVos start at $229, so here's hoping Apple gets the price a bit lower than that, because otherwise its idea of a "lower-cost iPod" isn't much reason to get happy. We're really starting to think that maybe the new "lower-cost" iPods and the miniPods aren't the same thing at all. What do you think, folks-- a premium price for a smaller player coupled with classic refurb 5 GB iPods for $149? Just a thought.

Actually, wait-- we've got it! We just figured out exactly how Apple can introduce 2 GB miniPods at a $99 price point and still keep a nice profit margin! What they're going to do is... wait, are those waffles? Oooh, yeah, waffles.

Mmmmm, waffle-y.

Now. What were we talking about again?...


 
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


 

The above scene was taken from the 12/29/03 episode:

December 29, 2003: Christmas has come and gone-- so how many iPods did Apple sell, anyway? Meanwhile, still more miniPod "confirmation" arrives (plus reports that they'll be available in "Gold"), and Apple allegedly plans to make its 20-inch Cinema Display the low-end option in the display lineup...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4413: Must Be A "Guesstimate" (12/29/03)   There it went, folks: another Christmas come and gone, with nothing left to remind us of its fleeting glory but the faint lingering scent of sugar cookies, the neighbors' traditional "Three Santas Bringing Gifts to Baby Jesus While Penguins with Little Scarves Look on" lawn display (the one that won't be taken down until June), and a credit hole so deep your bills arrive printed upside-down and in Chinese...

  • 4415: 30 Inches & Splitty Cables (12/29/03)   Man alive, just what is going on with Apple's displays these days? We've all been hearing rumors about a refreshed display lineup for months and months now, but nothing's changed in almost a year-- and if you listen really hard, you can hear the sounds of G5 owners asking themselves the question that keeps them up all night: "Why am I looking at transparent plastic, pinstripes, and chrome next to my perforated aluminum Power Mac?"...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1250 votes)

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