Duals, Duals Everywhere (12/12/03)
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Just a quick update on the Expo rumors, folks; now that we're less than a month away from the Stevenote, we're required by law to provide coverage of pre-event scuttlebutt at least three days out of every five-- and since we're still doing community service for our last infraction, we're really trying to stay on the good side of Johnny Law right now. (We're even detailing his car next week. Who knew he drives a Ford Probe?)

The latest Expo buzz comes courtesy of AppleInsider, who claims to have weeded some reliable info out of an "abundance of misinformation." They say "abundance of misinformation," we say Crapalanche™-- you wouldn't believe some of the stuff people are sending us. Quick tip for the fledgling hoaxsters out there: "high-ranking managers working at One Infinite Loop" typically don't send their email from a Windows 98 box running at a public high school three states over. Well, Jon Rubinstein does, but he's the only one. We swear. The commute is just a killer, and Jon's the only one who's really into audiobooks.

Anyway, AI confirms that, yes, Virginia, there will be Power Mac updates come January, and as of right now, at least, "an all dual processor lineup is in the works." Word has it that the dual 2.0 GHz configuration currently ruling the Mac roost will actually become Apple's new entry-level Power Mac, with dual 2.2 and 2.4 GHz models rounding out the rest of the One Big Happy. If that turns out to be true, then we can already hear the sound of a few thousand people all opening their wallets; when the "low end" gets a 25% clock speed boost and two, two, two chips for the price of one (well, okay, for the price of about 1.3, more likely, but still), it's time to upgrade. A lot.

Only time will tell if this comes to pass, of course, but it's certainly well within the realm of physical possibility-- especially since no prices are given. We always cringe a little whenever the price of the cheapest system in a given product line goes up instead of down, but for a jump from a single 1.6 GHz processor to a pair of 2.0 GHz ones, we hardly think we'll have cause to complain. No worries, though-- we're sure we'll find something else to complain about. We're really good at it.

And thus fulfills our legal rumorological obligations for the week. Say, can somebody sign this time card?...

 
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The above scene was taken from the 12/12/03 episode:

December 12, 2003: Get ready to panic, because there's an iPod shortage! Except probably not. Meanwhile, rumors start to gel about the new Power Macs expected next month, and Microsoft pledges to remove a couple of swastikas that found their way into a font in Office...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4388: SHORTAGE! Maybe. (Not.) (12/12/03)   Bust open them piggy banks, shoppers; 'tis the season to buy iPods, fa la la la la something something etc. Current marketing data suggests that every U.S. resident over the age of four will buy between two and six of the little silver-'n'-white doohickeys before the year is out because they're just so gosh-darned nifty. There's just one problem: with demand this strong, what happens if the supply goes bye-bye? We imagine there'd be chaos, looting, and maybe even a little-- dare we say it?-- jaywalking ...

  • 4390: "Don't Mention The War" (12/12/03)   Geez Louise, what is it with Microsoft attracting periodic charges of antisemitism by people messing around with fonts? Perhaps you recall that whole "NYC" thing, when somebody noticed that "NYC" in the Webdings font looks like "Eye Heart New York," but in Wingdings it looks like "skull-and-crossbones star-of-David thumbs-up."...

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