It's A Twelve-Course Meal (11/17/03)

Ewww, a whole scene about Rob Enderle; we feel all dirty. Time to get happy again with a round of everybody's favorite party game, Perilously Unsubstantiated Rumor Appreciation Time! We lucked out, too, because just when we needed it most, AppleInsider delivered the goods-- by the freakin' truckload. We won't be trite and say that when it rains it pours, but let's just say that we're glad we're wearing scuba gear.

We hope you're hungry, because there's a lot to chow down on. First on the menu: new iMacs. Big new iMacs. Seven feet tall, they are, with arms like tree trunks and eyes like steel (cold and hard) and a shock of hair, red, like the fires of hell... only not quite that tall and with no arms, eyes, or hair. On the other hand, if the rumors are true, then these iMacs do have 20-inch screens, which ranks 'em up there on the Enormo-Board as far as we're concerned. AppleInsider got word of these behemoths over the weekend and originally wrote it off as a "misinformation campaign"-- until other sites like Think Secret posted corroborating reports and more word kept creeping in that some retailers had already received shipments of the pituitary cases.

But wait, that's just the first course! Alongside the mondo-gi-normous iMacs tomorrow, we're also supposed to get a second processor beaming into the 1.8 GHz Power Mac G5: duals aren't just for deuces anymore. On top of that there's a third "mystery product" priced at $749. Is it a perforated aluminum robotic monkey? A lovely assortment of fine scented soaps? None can say-- although rumors apparently hint that it's either a "widescreen 17-inch display" or the new lower price for the existing 20-inch Cinema Display. Either way it's a tasty treat.

Still not enough for your Hungry Man appetite? Then forget all that "tomorrow" stuff for a minute and wash it all down with a healthy chug of longer-term dual-G4 PowerBook speculation. Word has it that if Apple can't wedge a G5 into an inch-thick enclosure soon enough to prevent another year-long delay between PowerBook updates, Apple has a contingency plan to ship one PowerBook with two G4s lurking beneath the hood. The holdup with the G5, other than the issue of sheer size, is the longtime bugbear of keeping that sucker cool. AI reports that Cooligy, the company working on that wacky water-cooling pump thingy we mentioned a while back, has a workable product that will keep a G5-portable suitably unmelty, but it's waiting for safety approval from various regulatory agencies due to the "potential for leakage of very hot liquids." It sounds like too much fun already.

So are we buying any of this, you ask? Frankly, we're too awash in the current of rumory goodness to bother thinking about it too much. After all, for everything but the liquid-cooled PowerBook, we'll know tomorrow anyway, right? So we're just going to lie here and soak in the warm, lapping waves of speculation.

Wait a minute... this isn't speculation. This is a leakage of very hot liquids.


SceneLink (4339)
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The above scene was taken from the 11/17/03 episode:

November 17, 2003: Steve Jobs gets recognized as a marketer, a high-tech exec, and that guy who keeps parking across three handicapped spaces outside the Piggly Wiggly. Meanwhile, Rob Enderle still thinks Apple needs to switch to Intel, and rumors point to a monstrous new iMac, a mid-range dual G5, and "something else" all touching down tomorrow-- and maybe dual-G4 PowerBooks next year...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4337: Who Stole The Weekend? (11/17/03)   We have a bone to pick with the theory of relativity: was it really necessary to make Monday show up three minutes after Friday arrived? Seriously, if we ever run into that theory face-to-face on a Monday morning, it had better hope we've already had our coffee, or we're going to go caveman on its... well, its... premise, or something...

  • 4338: Same Song, Different Key (11/17/03)   Board up the windows and hide in the basement, weather fans, 'cause there's a Stupid Storm a-brewin', and by all indications it's gonna be a doozy! Well, okay, there's no such thing as an actual "Stupid Storm," per se, but if there were, they should all be named "Hurricane Enderle"-- in honor of good ol' Robert E., the analyst who has turned cluelessness into an art form...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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