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Night Of The Dying Macs (10/30/03)
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Halloween is nearly upon us, people, and what better way to get into a spooky mood than to tell scary stories by the glow of a Mac display? Okay, let's see, now... there's that one with the hook on the car door handle. And the one with the babysitter getting calls from inside the house. Um... oh, yeah-- there's the one with guy who gives a dead chick a lift and she leaves her sweater in the car or something. There was one about a rabbi, a priest, and a duck walking into a bar, but we never really found it to be all that scary. Maybe we're just jaded or something.
Ah, to heck with it; let's just drag out the big guns, shall we? How about the Tale of the Five Thousand Vanishing Macs? Faithful viewer David Poves pointed a blood-curdling finger at an Australian IT article which reports that Optus, some mega-huge communications company Down Under, is preparing to "dump Apple from about 5,000 desktops, ending 11 years of loyalty which began in 1992 with the rollout of the user-friendly machines across the company in the world's largest business deployment of the computers." Ooooh, we're going to have to sleep with the lights on tonight, boy howdy.
Dumping 5,000 Macs? What a silly thing to do! Don't those guys realize that they could cluster them instead and then get mobbed by starstruck young geeks asking them to autograph various body parts? Meanwhile, anyone at Apple working on that whole "Macs in Enterprise" project must be clutching desperately at a blankie right now and hiding under the bed, because hearing that the world's largest installation of Macs in big business is "now in the process of moving all its users to Windows-based machines" can't be a good omen.
It seems that the Mac-dumping comes as a result of "an acceleration of the move to bring Optus software platforms together with those of its parent SingTel." Ahhhh, yes... the old "Mac-using company gets bought out by Windows-using parent company who subsequently shovels the Macs out the door" scenario; we've seen it many times. Well, a few times. Okay, we've seen it once-- but we've seen it up close and personal, and trust us when we tell you that once was plenty enough. Ugly stuff. Evil stuff. Dare we say... scary stuff? Awoooooooooo!!!
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SceneLink (4304)
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 10/30/03 episode: October 30, 2003: Big Mac's Big Mac Daddy addresses the assembled geeks at a Mac OS X conference and propels himself to Nerd Stardom. Meanwhile, the world's largest installation of Macs in big business is getting flushed to make way for Wintels, and Apple settles a class action lawsuit in a manner utterly devoid of deep-fried appetizers from wholesome family eateries...
Other scenes from that episode: 4303: The Making Of A Rock Star (10/30/03) This just in: Virginia Tech's G5-based supercomputer, dubbed "Big Mac" by the quick wits of the tech community, has not officially improved in performance in the past two days-- and yes, given the rate at which that sucker's been boosting its score, that most certainly is news... 4305: Action, Of The Classy Sort (10/30/03) Oh, goody, we love class action settlement terms! What's not to like? A whole slew of people who never asked to be included in the first place get their choice of either a coupon for a free appetizer when purchased with a full-price entree at Bennigan's or a check for $15 if they send in that washing machine that broke down three years ago due to what turned out to be a systemic manufacturing defect...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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