Better Call It "Latehorn" (10/15/03)

Nine days 'til Panther! Nine days 'til Panther! Not that we're getting excited or anything. Sure, we're looking forward to hours of productivity irretrievably lost to Exposé as we repeatedly press the F11 key and watch all of our windows skitter off the screen like so many startled cockroaches when the kitchen light comes on, but mostly we're just anticipating a whole heaping helping of Schadenfreude and gloating when we're all gleefully running Panther and the Windoids are still waiting for Longhorn. And waiting. And waiting...

Yup, while Longhorn was formerly slated for a 2005 release, Microsoft Watch reports that company officials have finally admitted that it's now expected to slip into 2006. Well, okay, they didn't actually say that as such; instead they casually mentioned that Longhorn is "three years away from debut" and hoped that people who use Windows on a regular basis would have been too beaten into submission by the experience to bother doing the math. By our count, though, late 2003 plus three years equals late 2006-- and in Microsoftian release date coordinates, that might even slide into early 2007. Of course, that last bit's just conjecture, but the late-2006 release date comes from Microsoft itself.

If you need more to go on than the say-so of a handful of nameless Microsoft execs with PowerPoint presentations, you're in luck: faithful viewer Mikey points out that, according to The Register, Longhorn's lateness has been confirmed by no less an authority than Bill "Stumpy" Gates himself. Sort of. Reportedly he told journalists that "Longhorn could be 2005 or 2006." Which means, of course, 2006-- or, if you're a realist and you remember that Windows NT 5 was so late they renamed it "Windows 2000," 2007.

Bill went on to say that Longhorn "is going to be driven by technology, not by a release date. Which probably means that it is going to be late." So there you have it, folks: straight from the filthy rich horse's mouth. (Then again, the man also told the same reporters that Microsoft "invented personal computing," so there's every chance the lil' fella was stoned out of his gourd at the time-- this was in The Hague, after all, just thirtyish miles from Amsterdam.) Given the history of major Mac OS X upgrades so far, by the time Longhorn finally lopes into view over two whole years from now, we'll probably have replaced Panther with Tiger, have replaced Tiger with Lynx, and already be looking at previews for a 2006 release of Mac OS X British Tick.

Heck, if Microsoft officials are serious about Longhorn being "three years away from debut," we might even be using British Tick by then. Meanwhile, we look forward to getting our "before the end of this year" copies of Panther more than two months before the end of this year. With Panther out the door and Longhorn delayed until at least 2006, Apple's developers now have a good chunk of time to put Mac OS X so far back out in front of Windows that the disparity will the clearest it's been since System 7 vs. Windows 3.1. Do we sense a vicious beatdown in the making?

SceneLink (4272)
And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors

From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 10/15/03 episode:

October 15, 2003: Apple posts a $44 million profit; naysayers are baffled. Meanwhile, PC World conclusively proves that the G5 is actually slower than a 386, and Microsoft admits that the next major version of Windows won't surface until 2006...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4270: Head Nicely Above Water (10/15/03)   The results are in, people, and the ink is blacker than the box-office prospects of any post-Gigli Ben 'n' Jen flicks (sorry, Kev): according to the official press release, Apple posted a final profit of $44 million in its fourth fiscal quarter of 2003, thus prompting a perplexed Rob Enderle to scratch his head and go "Whuh?"...

  • 4271: We'll Even Pay Shipping (10/15/03)   Okay, okay, we know-- the whole Mac community is frothing at the mouth because of the new test results published by that paragon of platform-balanced reporting, PC World. As faithful viewer mrmgraphics was first to point out to us, said test results show a single 2.2 GHz Athlon 64 FX-51 trouncing a dual 2GHz Power Mac G5 in just about every test...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

(1188 votes)

As an Amazon Associate, AtAT earns from qualifying purchases

DISCLAIMER: AtAT was not a news site any more than Inside Edition was a "real" news show. We made Dawson's Creek look like 60 Minutes. We engaged in rampant guesswork, wild speculation, and pure fabrication for the entertainment of our viewers. Sure, everything here was "inspired by actual events," but so was Amityville II: The Possession. So lighten up.

Site best viewed with a sense of humor. AtAT is not responsible for lost or stolen articles. Keep hands inside car at all times. The drinking of beverages while watching AtAT is strongly discouraged; AtAT is not responsible for damage, discomfort, or staining caused by spit-takes or "nosers."

Everything you see here that isn't attributed to other parties is copyright ©,1997-2023 J. Miller and may not be reproduced or rebroadcast without his explicit consent (or possibly the express written consent of Major League Baseball, but we doubt it).