As the Apple Turns: Scene 4221: Gee, It Must Be September! (9/22/03)

Gee, It Must Be September! (9/22/03)

Maybe it's just us, but we're increasingly of the opinion that someone working in the Celestial Office of Universal Constants kicked the Time Passage Regulator right past the "Fast" setting and into "Lucy and Ethel Making Chocolate" mode. For instance, how long has the iPod been out, now? We're coming up on two years, right? Mmmm, yup, uh huh, almost two years. My, how time flies!

For those of you wondering how we just performed that deft mental calculation without benefit of pencil, paper, modeling clay, and a troupe of actors to perform an illustrative interpretive dance of the months falling away and sending the iPod plunging headlong into the future, no, we didn't just do math in our heads. (As if.) Basically, we just happened to notice that Dell is finally getting around to copying Apple's breakthrough music player, and that usually takes between 18 and 24 months; witness the WebPC copying the iMac, the OptiPlex enclosure copying the Power Mac G3/G4 easy-open case, etc. If Mike Dell's copycat obsession with Steve Jobs were any more predictable, you could set your watch by it. (Actually, you can set your watch by it, but we wouldn't recommend it-- especially if you happen to take any rigidly-timed prescription medications.)

So far there's precious little detail available about what Dell's player will be like; the IDG News Service reports that it'll be hard drive-based with 15 GB of storage, it'll be built by Dell (so you know it'll be stylin'), and it has one really cool name. What'll it be called, you ask? Brace yourselves, kiddies, because it's one catchy name. Are you sitting down?

Seriously, are you ready for this? Yeah?

Okay, it's called the Digital Jukebox.

Yeah, we know. Steve Jobs is kicking himself even as we speak while also flogging his marketing team and screaming "Why didn't we come up with that?!"

Anyway, it sounds like the iPod has some real competitiommmppphhhHHAAAAA HA HA HA HA HAAA!! Yeah, we thought we could get through that with a straight face, but no such luck. Anyway, we expect lots more information about the Dell Digital Jukebox will surface come Thursday, when the device is actually rumored to be launched. Will it be a straight iPod knockoff, or more of an "in the vein of" sort of deal, i.e. similar but lamer features with a dirt-cheap price all rolled up in a piece of industrial "design" apparently intended to wound and/or blind the user? We're on the edge of our seat!

SceneLink (4221)

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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

The above scene was taken from the 9/22/03 episode:

September 22, 2003: Steve seems uncharacteristically loose-lipped when speaking to the European press. Meanwhile, Motorola's CEO "retires" due to a disagreement with the company's board of directors-- is this the Wrath of Jobs at work? And just how worried should we all be now that Dell is copycatting the iPod?...

Other scenes from that episode:

4219: "It's Europe; Live A Little" (9/22/03) Say, you know how if you're on a diet and you leave the country on vacation, none of the calories you eat actually count? (At least, we're pretty sure that's the case; we saw it in a comic strip or something)...
4220: Ding Dong The Chris Is Dead (9/22/03) Well, it happened on Friday morning, but the news didn't start making the rounds until after AtAT was already broadcasting, so we've had all weekend to chortle in our joy: as first pointed out by faithful viewer Flow Flow and breathlessly confirmed by the Associated Press, Motorola's CEO Chris Galvin has "unexpectedly resigned" due to "differences with the board."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...


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