CFO Fred, Man Of Layers (8/21/03)

Attention all Apple keynote junkies (and we're talking about the event thingies, not the PowerPointish doohickey): load up the van and prepare for a road trip to the Big Apple, because there's another one a-comin' next month! We know, we know-- it sounds too good to be true, especially after Macworld Expo turned into CreativePro and our customary New York Summer Stevenote chock full of drama and excitement turned into a Gregnote chock full of... well, mostly microwaved leftovers from the previous month's Stevenote, actually. But true it is; as if to make up for any CreativePro-inspired disappointment, Apple's slotted another keynote in NYC for next month.

Before you get too excited, though, we suppose there are a few things you should know. First of all, it's not going to be at a Mac trade show; it'll be at the Smith Barney Citigroup 2003 Technology Conference. (We can feel the blank stares. Stop it.) And this keynote won't be delivered by Steve, or even by Phil or Greg; according to MacMinute, this one's all about Fred Anderson, baby. Evidently Fred's going to take a day off of counting Apple's four-point-whatever billion dollars to school a pack of 1600 investors on the finer points of how to take a company from "beleaguered" to... well, "formerly beleaguered" via prudent cost-cutting, iron-fisted inventory management, and a winning smile. Okay, so maybe it's not exactly an Expo Stevenote. But on the plus side, it's at the Hilton. Oooh, swanky!

Personally, we're excited about this. We know some of you might think that Fred, being a number-crunching money guy, just won't have the stage presence necessary to put on a great show, but consider his performances during the quarterly earnings conference calls; the guy's got some flair bubbling under there. Plus, we did a little research (Really! During the commercial breaks!) and discovered that ol' Fred has been leading a double life: check out what he does when he's not diluting Apple's earnings per share. He promises a "powerful, motivating keynote" and is described by viewers as "brilliant," "terrific," and "hysterical." And the pictures strongly imply that the man juggles fiery torches and axes. Coooooool!

Lest you try to persuade us that this is another "Fred Anderson" (as if there ever could be more than one), note that he does, in fact, list Apple Computer as a corporate client. Man, a CFO who juggles fire! This is gonna be one amazing Frednote, just you wait...

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The above scene was taken from the 8/21/03 episode:

August 21, 2003: The latest developer build of Panther proves once and for all that Apple's got wireless input devices up its sleeve. Meanwhile, the company begins giving away iPods on a daily basis, and CFO Fred Anderson signs up to juggle axes at a keynote for investors next month...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4156: No Wires, For Sure, Finally (8/21/03)   Cat, meet the outside of the bag. Hey folks, remember all those tantalizing little clues about a possible Apple-branded wireless keyboard and mouse emerging soonish? Specifically, we're referring to the price cuts on existing Apple input devices last month, Power Mac G5 order summaries explicitly listing a "Keyboard Wired" and a "Wired Mouse," and the presence of a Bluetooth tab in the Keyboard and Mouse preferences pane in developer releases of Panther...

  • 4157: Free iPods The Easy Way (8/21/03)   Recently it's come to our attention that some viewers are slightly dissatisfied with our occasional "Get A Free iPod" tips; apparently some of you feel that the methods of qualifying for the free 'Pods are either too difficult to accomplish (e.g. performing onstage at the 2002 Grammy Awards) or too expensive (e.g. purchasing a BMW motorcycle)...

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