Ads, Ads All Over The Place! (7/16/03)
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Here we are, halfway through July already-- which means that the Power Mac G5 may start shipping in as little as two weeks' time. Well, okay, it's probably more like six weeks, but technically, August 1st is August, and it's not completely out of the realm of possibility. That said, if Apple does ship its first G5 on August 1st, keep your eyes peeled for two-headed black calves, the seas awash with blood, Pauly Shore winning an Oscar, or any other signs of the impending apocalypse.

No matter what, though, August is just around the corner, which means it's time for Apple to start advertising these things. The first G5 TV commercial surfaced on the airwaves yesterday, and depicts a young man getting blown clear through multiple walls of his house and into a tree, presumably by the sheer speed and force of the Power Mac G5 in his bedroom. Apple commercial mainstay Jeff Goldblum-- does this guy have voiceover tenure at One Infinite Loop, or something?-- then intones a line or two about how the G5 is the fastest and most powerful yadda yadda yadda go buy one. (At broadcast time, Apple still hadn't posted the ad to its web site, but several unofficial QuickTime versions are floating around.)

Personally, we're a little unsure about this ad, since we're not terribly confident that all that many people are going to want to shell out up to three grand for a computer that's going to destroy their domiciles while simultaneously sending them hurtling into the foliage. Still, even though we've only seen a tiny unofficial QuickTime version, we can't deny that the cheese grater actually looked pretty darn sexy up there next to that (admittedly mismatching, but whatever) Cinema Display. And for those of you who are undoubtedly going to complain that Apple should have spent at least a few of its thirty seconds describing something about the G5's technical achievements, we think Apple was smart to make the spot a teaser; there's way too much to cover in thirty seconds, and only tech-savvy people are going to care. Those tech-savvy people can then go check out http://www.apple.com/g5/ as instructed, which has more than they'll ever need to know about Apple's monster new chip and why they should rush right out and buy one.

Meanwhile, on a related note, MacNN reports that there are other Apple-related commercials floating around out there in the airwaves; apparently Volkswagen is airing ads pushing the "Pods Unite" joint promotion: anyone who buys a 2003 Beetle through the end of September gets a free iPod and a special in-car mounting kit. So if you've always wanted an iPod with VW's "Drivers Wanted" logo engraved on the back (ooooooo!), go buy a Beetle; you'll also get a coupon for $100 off any Apple Store purchase of $999 or more, "Volkswagen's exclusive 'Street Mix' CD collection," a free Audible.com ebook, a VW music zine, and a soon-to-be-oh-so-pricey-on-eBay "Pods Unite" window decal. All that, and you only need to buy a car to get it. Man, we love this economy!


 
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The above scene was taken from the 7/16/03 episode:

July 16, 2003: The Gregnote came and went-- and hardly anybody actually noticed. Meanwhile, Apple offers orphaned Premiere users a free ride on the Final Cut Express (or a 50% reduction on the Pro version), and commercials for the G5 and the new "buy a VW Beetle, get a free iPod" promotion start to show up on TV...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4078: Much Ado About Jack Squat (7/16/03)   This is the way the pipe dream ends-- not with a bang, but a... well, not so much a whimper, really, but more a sort of wheezy, strangulated hissing type of sound. Sort of a cross between someone letting the air out of all four of your tires and the sound you'd make if you found out that your girlfriend just left you for the guy who ran over your dog...

  • 4079: C'mon In, The App Is Free (7/16/03)   And thus is fired another fateful volley in the Apple-Adobe Rift Wars (coming soon to a theater near you-- and enjoy an extreme Rift Wars Quesadilla at Taco Bell today!). Remember how Adobe recently announced a brand spankin' new version of its video editing application Premiere, jam-packed with kajillions of great new features?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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