The Crazy-Clock's A-Tickin' (6/16/03)

Uh-oh, folks, it's Monday already-- and you know what that means: barely seven days remain in which we can drive ourselves dotty with wild-eyed speculation over what next week's Stevenote will bring. A week? Wow, that's not much time, especially if we're really going to go for certifiable insanity; true obsession-driven dementia takes a pretty serious time commitment, and frankly we're not at all sure we can squeeze that much compulsive worrying and mental back-and-forth into just one week. Where does the time go?

Well, here's some good news for those of you who need an extra little boost along the road to madness: MacRumors has posted its traditional Rumor Roundup, which compiles all of the major WWDC-related speculative hunches in one handy pocket-size package suitable for framing. It's all there: the PowerPC 970, new Power Macs, PowerBooks, iChat, the alleged Apple chatcam, and a call for "special attention" to AppleInsider's recent foray into fiction which hinted at all of the above, plus new displays. There's also a mention that Apple plans to broadcast the Stevenote to its larger retail stores (i.e. those with theaters) for public consumption, which certainly implies that Steve's going to be hauling some big, sparkly stuff out on stage with him next Monday.

Now, our intention in pointing out MacRumors' Rumor Roundup is to give you a helpful reference where you can find all those will-they-won't-they conundrums quickly and easily. This way, instead of wasting what's left of this precious week by trying to track them all down yourself, you can maximize your time by focusing your efforts on pondering the imponderables until the little cartoon cuckoo comes bouncing out of your forehead. If, however, you find that the very spectacle of seeing all those "maybes" in a single neat list tends to make you lean towards thinking that they're all true, well, that's not going to help, at least from an "I want to hear about the WWDC announcements from a padded room while straitjacketed and pumped full of lithium" perspective; for an extra dose of brain-scrambling uncertainty, drop by Mac OS Rumors and read about how they're not expecting any new hardware to ship next week. As in, none. At all.

Ahhhhh... we can feel that pesky hold on reality slipping faster than a concussed Gerald Ford stepping off the plane on Banana Peel Island. Meanwhile, just to push the needle the other way a bit, faithful viewer Badtz Maru tells us that Macworld UK quotes director of QuickTime product marketing Frank Casanova as stating unequivocally that people who are expecting good things at the conference "will not be disappointed." It's up to you to decide whether or not the director of QuickTime product marketing is actually in a position to make that promise. Say, is the room spinning, or is it just our psychoses?

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The above scene was taken from the 6/16/03 episode:

June 16, 2003: There's only a week left to make yourself nuts with WWDC speculation, so hop to it. Meanwhile, rumors fly that Apple is once again thinking about selling Macs in Best Buy, and IDG announces that the first semi-keynote at next month's semi-Expo will be delivered by Apple hardware product marketing veep Greg Joswiak...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 4016: Just Give It Up, Already (6/16/03)   Say, did all the dads out there have a happy Father's Day yesterday? Apparently the odds of a "yes" answer are pretty darn good this year, considering that, according to CNN/Money, for the first time ever people are spending "more on Father's Day presents than they did last month on Mother's Day"-- and that among the list of "in-demand gizmos" that offspring were snapping up for Pops was the ever-lovin' iPod...

  • 4017: Semi-Expo Anti-Stevenote (6/16/03)   Say, what do you do if you need to book a major Apple personality to wow the crowd at something sort of like a keynote for what used to be Macworld Expo, but because Apple doesn't even want to show up in the first place you just can't get either Steve Jobs or Apple's cofounder Steve Wozniak?...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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