Burning Giraffe Redux (5/30/03)
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Psssst... Hey, buddy... Ya wanna buy a letter Q? No? Well, then how about some Weekend Surrealism? Guaranteed to alter your consciousness from now 'til Monday, without any of those harmful chemical side effects that traditionally go along with recreational substance abuse. Tell you what, the first hit's free. This is good stuff, guaranteed. Ready?

Here we go: faithful viewer Badtz Maru was innocently puttering around IBM's web site looking for more information on the long-awaited PowerPC 970, when he stumbled upon a publicity photo titled "IBM 64-bit PowerPC 970 microprocessor chip with feathers (#90)." Please note the complete and total lack of irony in that title, given that the photo is in fact depicting, for no particular reason we can fathom, an IBM 64-bit PowerPC 970 microprocessor chip-- with feathers. You will probably agree that this is what we've been taught to refer to as "a tad askew."

"Oh, sure, it's askew," you agree, "but not particularly surreal." Patience, Grasshopper; we're not actually to the full-on surreal bit yet. The surreal bit is that there are three other photos, making for an honest-to-goodness 970s 'n' Feathers quartet. Ladles and gentlemints, we hereby present to you "IBM 64-bit PowerPC 970 microprocessor chip with feathers (#91)," "IBM 64-bit PowerPC 970 microprocessor chip in the eye of a peacock feather (#92)," and "IBM 64-bit PowerPC 970 microprocessor chip in the eye of a peacock feather (#93)."

Are you freaked out yet? 'Cause we sure are. We haven't the foggiest idea what's up with the feathers, unless perhaps it's IBM's way of trying to tell us that these chips are really light. If that isn't the case, we're just going to have to assume that a few dozen brightly-colored birds exploded on the set during the photo shoot and the photographer just decided to run with it. What do you suppose they'll photograph the PowerPC 980 with? A few floppy pocketwatches, maybe?


 
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The above scene was taken from the 5/30/03 episode:

May 30, 2003: Already bored with the as-yet-unreleased PowerPC 970? Try the 980 on for size. Meanwhile, AOL wrangles a seven-year license to use Microsoft technology instead of Apple's or its own, and IBM chooses an interesting motif for its PPC 970 publicity photos...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3982: The Next Next Big Thing (5/30/03)   So here's the thing: over the past several months, we've been steeped neck-deep in dirt about the PowerPC 970, IBM's shiny new processor that's supposed to put Apple back in the game as far as raw computing power is concerned...

  • 3983: Now Settle Our Stomachs (5/30/03)   We've really grown to dislike seeing the words "Microsoft" and "settlement" in the same sentence, mostly because it's never something good like "Microsoft has been banished from the country and exiled to a settlement on the small island nation of the Republic of Maldives."...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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