Our Brilliant Free iPod Plan (2/21/02)
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We have to admit, we really thought that Apple would have been forced to drop its price on the iPod by now. After all, just about every review we've ever seen of the thing practically gushes over its various and sundry droolworthy features before finally concluding that it's just too expensive for most people to afford. The fact that Apple apparently continues to sell them at an acceptable pace without having had to knock a single buck off of its hefty $399 sticker price-- even in this strained economy-- is a testament to just how insanely great Apple's little digital music powerhouse really is. When you think about it, that's pretty amazing.

Of course, while that's nice and all, if you're broke, it doesn't do squat to help you get your hands on one. And while AtAT isn't exactly in a position to lend you a couple of Benjamins until your extremely dodgy tax refund shows up (you know what ol' Willy the Shakes said-- "neither a borrower nor a lender be, especially if you're talking about loaning money to the creepy deadbeats in your viewing audience"), we can at least let you in on a secret method to get an iPod for free-- as in, gratis; no cost; spend the cash at Sharper Image instead. It's a plan so simple you'll wonder why you didn't think of it earlier. Ready for this? Perform onstage at the Grammy Awards.

See, faithful viewer Garret Drexler tipped us off to a New York Post article from a few days back which discusses the "goodie bags" that each Grammy performer is about to receive, and guess which gleaming white-and-silver digital hub appliance just happens to be included in the pile? So all you need to do is find some way to get yourself added to the lineup before this coming Wednesday's festivities, and you, too, will receive a free iPod-- along with roughly $15,600 worth of other loot, like diamond earrings, yearly memberships to ritzy health clubs, free hotel stays, and even personalized bronze busts.

So start warming up those vocal cords and get ready to sing for your supper. As for how you manage to wedge yourself into the evening's agenda, well, you're on your own-- we can't do all the thinking around here. But we will say this: while we could never condone any sort of Tonya Harding-style attack on any of the scheduled performers, if anyone out there is planning something unsavory involving a blunt instrument and a vulnerable leg joint, on a completely unrelated note, that guy from 'N SYNC with the weird facial hair has always creeped us out.


 
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The above scene was taken from the 2/21/02 episode:

February 21, 2002: Yes, Apple just posted a slew of sales job openings-- but they aren't for new Apple retail stores. Meanwhile, if you're itching for an iPod but you're low on cash, we've got a cunning plan for you to get one for free, and it's business as usual for Microsoft, who is tracking the music and movie habits of its users and twisting its "Redmond Justice" settlement into a bigger club to wield against its customers...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 3583: No Jumping To Conclusions (2/21/02)   As we've mentioned on numerous occasions in the past, those of us obsessed with Apple's retail initiative quickly learned that online job postings often reveal upcoming store locations long before Apple formally announces them...

  • 3585: Plus C'est La Même Chose (2/21/02)   The world of high tech moves awfully quickly, while the U.S. legal system hugs the other end of the speed bell curve-- so when you chuck 'em together in a box and shake it, which one wins? To answer that variation on the old "irresistible force meets immovable object" quandary, look no further than Microsoft and the company's various antitrust entanglements...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

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