Despite Uncle Steve's reputation as the Mercurial One, and despite his infamous propensity to mouth off in an entertainingly (albeit bone-chillingly) colorful fashion when peeved and behind closed doors, the man is a master of holding his tongue when the press is listening. Oh, sure, there are occasional instances when he's lost it in public, but in general, when the microphones are live and the cameras are rolling, he's the very picture of charm and decorum-- regardless of how he might really feel. Take, for example, the tricky business of the Apple-Microsoft relationship; during the Stevenotes he's all smoochy with the comments like "Internet Explorer is my browser of choice" and "Office v.X is so good it's like clipping electrodes directly to the pleasure centers in your brain" or whatever. But then there's that whole thing about Steve kicking off "Redmond Justice" by offering $10 million to fund the Justice Department's efforts. Apple may need Microsoft, but that doesn't mean Steve's gotta like it. Or that he needs to keep smiling when the cameras are off.

Still, like we said, out of necessity the man is generally very pro-Redmond in his public guise, so we were a bit surprised to see the smile slip a little in light of the proposed settlement for a couple of hundred private antitrust suits against Microsoft. You remember that deal, of course-- the one in which Microsoft says, "Oh, we're so terribly sorry for abusing our monopoly power! Allow us to make it up to the world by flooding the schools with free copies of Windows and Office, thus extending our monopoly into new markets and getting the next generation hooked on lousy design and security holes; that'll teach us a lesson, boy howdy!" Faithful viewer Rooser tipped us off to an Associated Press article in which Judge Motz-- the big cheese who has to decide whether or not that proposal is fair-- is quoted as saying, "I have no idea what I am going to do. I want to hear from everybody."

Well, evidently Steve took that literally, because while he managed to keep mum pretty much throughout the entire "Redmond Justice" trial (he diplomatically refused to testify against Microsoft, instead sending Avie Tevanian to chronicle Redmond's misdeeds), suddenly he's got an opinion on this whole "Free Windows for schools" plan: "We're baffled that a settlement imposed against Microsoft for breaking the law should allow, even encourage, them to unfairly make inroads into education-- one of the few markets left where they don't have monopoly power." That's a pretty strong criticism coming from Public Steve. Of course, Private Steve's response to the settlement proposal probably made a Chris Rock standup routine look like an episode of Barney and Friends. We're guessing that anyone within earshot during that outburst filed for short-term disability right after their ears melted.

So there you have it: if you had no idea how Apple feels about Microsoft's proposal, we think we can safely classify the company's official stance as "slightly to moderately miffed." Steve, on the other hand, probably qualifies as "ready to tear someone's throat out with his teeth," but that's okay-- he's good at hiding it.