If you were worried that Microsoft might settle its antitrust case, thus robbing longtime "Redmond Justice" viewers of the climactic finish we so richly deserve, you can rest a little easier today. Faithful viewer Pastor Mac pointed out a New York Post article which indicates that settlement talks between Redmond and the government are "going nowhere." (Yes, but are they going nowhere fast? We need details, people!) Likewise, another widespread concern among fans of the antitrust show-- that the Bush administration would be too soft on everyone's favorite monopoly abusers-- appears unfounded; the same article indicates that new antitrust chief Charles James is a "tough guy" who's "playing hardball" with Bill and the gang. Sounds like we're in for as much drama as we'd hoped.

So how is Microsoft responding? In the most obvious way imaginable, of course; a few days ago, the company appealed to the Supreme Court to have the case thrown out completely. While everyone knows that's about as likely to happen as Bill Gates suddenly sprouting a conscience, some shame, and a decent haircut, Microsoft has also asked the Court of Appeals not to kick the case back to a lower court until the Supreme Court refuses to step in. Meanwhile, since the company's punishment will therefore be delayed, it'll be perfectly free to ship Windows XP in October without fear of reprisal. It's obscenely obvious as far as stall tactics go, but no one has ever accused Microsoft of being subtle.

What? You think that Microsoft actually is being a little subtle? Just a teensy-weensy, itty-bitty little bit subtle? Well, everyone's entitled to an opinion... except that one, because it's just flat-out wrong. Perhaps you haven't yet seen this ZDNet News article, which indicates that Microsoft "has given PC makers the go-ahead to ship Windows XP as much as one full month before the operating system's official October 25th launch date." If you need to ask, yes, it's a scheme to get as many copies of Windows XP into the field as possible before the courts finally manage to get a punishment lined up, and yes, it's about as subtle as a Key Lime iBook blasting MP3s of John Philip Sousa marches in a room full of sleeping mole-people. But that's what's so gosh-darned lovable about those guys, right?