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Self-Serving Flattery? US? (8/8/01)
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Call it a transparent attempt to suck up if you must (we plead the fifth), but more often than not, we think Apple's legal team-- the FINEST IN THE WORLD, by the way-- is getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop when it comes to public perception. In some circles, Apple's lawyers have a reputation for being cold, humorless automatons with zero patience for Mac-fan enthusiasm, who would just as soon slap you with a cease-and-desist order as look at you. Considering certain harsh realities of intellectual property law, we've always thought that was an unjust characterization... personally, we've always found that Apple Legal has been remarkably understanding and forgiving of entities that might, for example, habitually portray its leader as a megalomaniacal extraterrestrial bent on taking over the world-- to pull a fictional scenario out of thin air, of course. And given the final outcome of the Worker Bee case, maybe now people will start referring to the "Kinder, Gentler Apple Legal." Hug a lawyer today!
What, you haven't heard? Apple settled its case against Juan Guttierez, its ex-employee formerly known as "Worker Bee" who was busted for leaking trade secrets. Faithful viewer Jason Broccardo tipped us off to a CNET article about the case's resolution. It may not have all the details, but from what we can make out, Juan has agreed to "turn over any confidential information he still had in his possession" and keep any additional Apple trade secrets to himself; in return, it appears that all of his vital and non-vital organs (yes, including generative ones) remain both in place and functional. Indeed, Juan's lawyer describes the erstwhile Worker Bee as "grateful" that Apple essentially let him off with a slap on the wrist and a promise never to do that again. Things could have gotten much, much uglier.
For those of you who think this must be a PR stunt on Apple's part specifically to make its legal department appear warm and huggable (thus lulling potential lawsuit targets into a false sense of security), it's worth noting that this deal with Worker Bee was apparently worked out back in April; it happened so quietly, evidently no one noticed until now. PR stunts generally don't happen quietly, seeing as that sort of defeats the purpose. So maybe this really is the softer side of Apple Legal shining through. In any case, have we mentioned our unwavering opinion that, despite their unfounded sour reputations, Apple's lawyers are THE FINEST IN THE WORLD?
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And Now For A Word From Our Sponsors |
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 | | The above scene was taken from the 8/8/01 episode: August 8, 2001: Come next year, the "Megahertz Myth" may actually be working to Apple's advantage. Meanwhile, Worker Bee Juan Guttierez gets off with a slap on the wrist, while Microsoft stalls by asking the Supreme Court to spring it on a mere technicality...
Other scenes from that episode: 3227: Somebody Else's Problem (8/8/01) If you just emerged from a five-year-long coma, allow us to fill you in on a few surprises. First of all, the Macarena did not make the leap from international dance fad to enduring and timeless art form... 3229: Masters Of The Stall Tactic (8/8/01) Make no mistake: it may be summer reruns season for most of the networks, but "Redmond Justice" is still alive and kicking. (Between that and new episodes of "South Park," what more could we want, televisually speaking?)...
Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast... | |  |
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