Da Plane! Da Plane! (1/19/00)

So the conference call was a virtual love-in, what with all the great news. Happiest of all, though, is Steve Jobs. Now that Apple's iCEO-for-life is finally an officially permanent fixture down there in Cupertino, he's getting a raise. Well, okay, not really a raise, actually... he's still getting the same old $1 a year as a salary. But he scored a nice bonus: ten million shares in stock options and a plane. Sure beats the fruit basket you got from your boss last Christmas, doesn't it?

Yup, according to a press release, Apple's board voted unanimously to give Steve a Gulfstream V jet "in recognition of his service to the Company." Better yet, Steve won't even be taking a big tax hit because of the gift. You know that one-time charge of $90 million that shows up as a "special executive bonus" in Apple's end-of-quarter finances? That's $45 million for the jet itself "plus money to offset the impact on Mr. Jobs's taxes," according to the New York Times. Jerry York, a member of the Board, claims the jet "will be operated at Mr. Jobs's expense." So we suppose it didn't come fully-fueled with a year's supply of those little pretzels and a fully-trained flight crew in a box. Still, that's not a bad bonus.

If you're wondering what Steve's planning to do with his new toy, he claims it'll "help him coordinate his two jobs and his family life." Remember back when he bought a helicopter to help him zip between Apple and Pixar? Apparently now he's planning on throwing this jet into the commuter mix. We can just see him parking the thing in his driveway after a tough day of being a dual CEO... Steve in a t-shirt and cut-offs washing the jet on Saturday morning... the neighborhood kids accidentally denting the side panels while playing ball... Idyllic, isn't it? See, billionaires are just like us after all.

SceneLink (2042)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far


The above scene was taken from the 1/19/00 episode:

January 19, 2000: More black ink. Is anyone surprised? Meanwhile, Steve Jobs gets a buck a year, a hearty round of thanks, a ton of stock options, and his own jet, while strife continues overseas as Apple lays off more workers in the UK and Germany...

Other scenes from that episode:

  • 2041: If Numbers Could Smile (1/19/00)   So how'd you do when playing the Beat The Analysts home game? We made out pretty well; our guess of $190 million only missed the mark by $7 mil, so we won a Pop-Tart. (Well, actually, the vegan equivalent-- a frosted cherry Toast-N-Jammer.)...

  • 2043: Building Up The French (1/19/00)   Meanwhile, all sorts of crazy stuff seems to be happening overseas right now. We assume you're aware of Apple's apparent ongoing campaign against the British, right? For the past several years, Apple's continually withdrawn from England's Apple Expo (think Macworld Expo but with different accents) even after promising to show up and bring Steve Jobs for a keynote...

Or view the entire episode as originally broadcast...

Vote Early, Vote Often!
Why did you tune in to this '90s relic of a soap opera?
Nostalgia is the next best thing to feeling alive
My name is Rip Van Winkle and I just woke up; what did I miss?
I'm trying to pretend the last 20 years never happened
I mean, if it worked for Friends, why not?
I came here looking for a receptacle in which to place the cremated remains of my deceased Java applets (think about it)

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