TV-PGOctober 22, 1997: (Sorry—this was before we started writing intro text for each episode!)
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From the writer/creator of AtAT, a Pandemic Dad Joke taken WAYYYYYY too far

 
Billy the Bully (10/22/97)
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Mmmm boy, all of the seedy details are coming out in the latest courtroom drama involving Microsoft vs. the U.S. Department of Justice. (We only wish that Judge Wapner hadn't retired.) While the trial isn't open to the public, CNN reports that the DoJ called some major PC manufacturers to the stand to testify as to the character of the defendant, when the fur started to fly.

First up was a tearful Compaq, obviously shaken before the watchful eye of their oppressive OS pusher. It's said that Compaq, wracked with fear, finally admitted that Microsoft "threatened" to cut off its supply of Windows 95 unless Compaq included Internet Explorer on every machine shipped.

It is said that fellow Windows junkies Gateway 2000 and Micron Technology, somewhat emboldened by their comrade's sudden show of courage, testified that Microsoft refused to let either of them remove MSIE from their systems' desktops. Even the icon couldn't be removed, without their OS licenses being cut off at the source.

Unsurprisingly, none of the three manufacturers would comment on the rumored testimony. What other juicy tidbits will emerge from the investigation? Stay tuned...

 
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Intel, Digital Make Up (10/22/97)
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Meanwhile, in another courtroom, longtime chip rivals Intel and Digital are rumored to be settling their differences-- to the tune of $1.6 billion.

Happily, the settlement does not involve the sale of Digital's Alpha chip to Intel, as was widely reported a couple of weeks ago. Instead, Intel will pay Digital $1.6 billion in cash to license some of the technologies used in the Alpha architecture, which Intel will use in their Merced processors. (Actually, Intel will pay half in cash, and half in the form of discounts on Intel chips to Digital, who also builds PC's using Intel Pentium-family processors.)

Interestingly, Intel gets two important benefits for their hefty chunk of change. Firstly, their Merced processor won't be held up by a lengthy court battle. And secondly, the Federal Trade Commission will stay off its back for a while longer; if Intel had bought the Alpha, you can bet the FTC would be all over them for antitrust reasons, like... well, like the DoJ on Bill Gates.

 
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Newton, Schmewton (10/22/97)
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Just when it looked like the future of Newton and the MessagePad was secure, the bottom fell out of the dream. Or so reports thessaSOURCE and others.

It's only been a couple of days from the rosiest point in Newton's recent history; on Monday, Apple announced the MessagePad 2100, thus alleviating much grief among the Newton faithful who were waiting for the MessagePad to get "Steved." Jobs, you see, while completely enamored of the eMate as a $700 laptop lite, is not nearly as thrilled with the MessagePad; and so it seemed inevitable that the MessagePad would get cancelled. The Newton world heaved a sigh on relief on Monday, when the announcement of the 2100 seemed to indicate a continuing MessagePad line.

Unfortunately, today it's been widely rumored that Apple has just laid off 30% of the Newton group (including some of the last remaining NewtonScript programmers), is about to stop using the "Newton" name, and may end up killing the MessagePad line after all. This certainly seems possible-- the eMate would simply become a pure Apple product, which would continue to be sold primarily into the educational channel.

Why is it that every time Apple announces a new MessagePad, they immediately do something to cast doubt on the whole platform's future? And they wonder why Newton sales have never been stellar.

 
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Far-Flung Fame (10/22/97)
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fotdMany thanx to Flung! the website, for making us Flung of the Day! Flung! is sort of a mixed-bag site, whose neatest feature is Flunging Around, which will "flung you to different sites each time you visit." In three reloads, we got flung to Action Girl Online, the Internet Movie Database, and Apple Computer.

Since AtAT is a family show, we should note that areas of Flung! are, er, "adult-oriented." If you have a "sensitive nature," you may want to avoid the nude babes/bikini babes section. You're safe in their web tips section, as well as in Flunging Around (although we can't speak for where you may get flung-- you know what those Apple folks are like, for instance).

Is it just us, or are these awards getting weirder? ;-)

 
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