So about two years ago we were indulging in an annual ritual of pain-- namely, watching the entire Academy Awards ceremony on the tube, because (in what has become a yearly industry snub) we had neither been nominated for an award nor invited to attend in person-- when our already-cranky selves took umbrage at what we could only classify as an unforgivable oversight: "Blame Canada" lost Best Original Song to that awful Phil Collins mess. Oh, and Apple forgot to buy ad time during the broadcast. But mostly the first thing.

Seriously, though, people always complain when Apple doesn't advertise during the Super Bowl (and rightly so), but when you think about it, it's even weirder that Apple has been ignoring the advertising pull of the Oscars for the past few years. After all, while both events haul in a huge television audience, you might argue that a higher concentration of movie buffs than football fans might more closely align with Apple's target demographic. Consider the fact that Apple has been trying to introduce a whole new generation of closet Spielbergs to the Mac platform by pushing the use of iMovie (and now iDVD). Consider also the way in which Apple has been trying to wedge itself into the Hollywood creative process with technologies like QuickTime, Final Cut Pro, and DVD Studio Pro. And yet, there wasn't an Apple ad to be seen all night.

Well, Apple was a no-show last year as well, but in what is obviously a direct effect of our complaining two years ago, we're happy to note that Apple is now on MediaWeek.com's list of a few "new advertisers" who have signed on to hawk their products during this year's festivities. Kudos to Apple for finally having the good sense to realize that our marketing instincts are nothing short of brilliant. Now if only the Academy could recognize genius as well and send us our freakin' invites, already.

We don't know what sort of commercials Apple plans to air during its $1.3 million slot (or slots), but most of you have probably noticed a distinct lack of iMac commercials so far. Well, fear not-- we've heard that three such ads are in the works, and we figure the Oscars would be as good a time as any to show them off (provided that Apple has managed to get the production/backorder problem a little more under control, of course). Actually, considering the nature of the event itself, we wonder if Steve would consider setting aside his rumored dislike of the Pixar spots and show those, instead. Whatever. We're just glad that Apple will have a presence this year, and come Sunday, March 24th, we'll be tuned in as usual. Unless, of course, someone can wrangle us some tickets?...

Oh, as usual, dear. And here we thought we'd unlocked the mysteries of existence a couple of months ago when a couple of scientists managed to work out that the color of the universe bears a striking resemblance to the original iMac's Bondi Blue; heck, we even cobbled together a nice little religious cult based on Apple's apparent connection to the secrets of the cosmos. Nothing big, you understand; a few dozen of us would meet every Saturday dressed in loose cotton clothes, kneel before our sacred rev. A, spiritually bathe in its Color Divine, and attempt gestalt telepathic communication with Leader Jobs in hopes that he would spare us in the upcoming apocalypse. Then we'd have a pot luck lunch.

Imagine our chagrin, then, to be told by faithful viewer Jason Margretz that the whole premise of our new belief system is bunk. According to an article in New Scientist, while their scientific methodology itself was sound, Baldry and Glazebrook kinda sorta screwed up completely when they converted the universe's average energy wavelength into an actual color-- the software they used "took a slightly pinky looking color as white." In other words, if white isn't white but pink is white, well, the results are going to come out just slightly askew. Geez, those science guys... no fashion sense at all. ColorSync, anyone?

The big question, of course, is this: now that the mistake has been rectified, what color is the universe really? Well, brace yourselves, because the answer is tremendously unpleasant; it turns out that the white point error had caused a "huge green shift," so, far from being reminiscent of the original iMac's hue, the real color of the universe is actually, well, sort of... beige. Yes, beige. Man. It's enough to make one warm up the suicide machine, isn't it? But if, as a Mac user, you've always felt that you just never fit in and the entire universe was somehow cosmically working against you, well, at least now you know why.

So does this mean our little cult is now going to start worshipping Mike Dell instead? Yeah, right-- get a grip. It's hard enough getting three dozen Mac users to "think same" enough to worship something cool, so we doubt any of them would kneel before a beige box in this day and age without a gun to their heads. No, we'll probably just disband the group, secure in the spiritually terrifying knowledge that the whole cosmos is fundamentally out to get us. It's no biggie. We'll miss the pot lucks, though.

So is everyone all juiced about this Saturday's grand opening of Apple's latest retail store at The Streets at Southpoint? C'mon, even if you're not a North Carolina resident, there's reason to smile: remember, it's been reported that Apple plans to open 97 more stores by the end of next year, and if that's true, then the Southpoint debut may mark the opening of the floodgates after a three-month retail dry spell. That's right, it's been almost three solid months since CambridgeSide opened, and frankly, we're so deep into grand opening withdrawal that staring at Tadd Torborg's collection of photos from galas past is the only way to keep the tremors at bay and stop feeling like there are bugs crawling all over our skin. "Just two more days... just two more days..."

The rebirth of the "Coming Soon" section on Apple's main retail page means that we'll always be able to see which stores are opening next, but for true addicts, that's not nearly good enough. That's why we're so thankful to faithful viewer Vince Briones for pointing out an Orlando Sentinel article which reveals that a new shopping center called the "Mall at Millenia" is slated to open in October-- and the floor plan includes "a 'digital lifestyle' store" run by a certain fruit-themed "computer-industry pioneer" who has been busting out the retail love since last May.

Woo-hoo!! Even aside from the ominous Apple-Disney World connection that's sure to have takeover conspiracy theorists grinning like the maniacs they are, we're always happy to be able to add new possible Apple store locations to the mix, especially when the report is pretty reliable, like this one. Attention, obsessive Mac-using Orlando residents: you have seven months to prepare your grand opening plan of attack. The clock is ticking.

So, now Millenia/Orlando is the latest to join the slew of unannounced but upcoming Apple retail locations, including (but not at all limited to) Farmers Market in Los Angeles, Lenox Square in Atlanta, Carousel Center in Syracuse, Wellington Green in Florida, and the long-awaited SoHo store in Manhattan. As for who's next in line to throw the Big Party, we won't know for sure until Apple updates its "Coming Soon" notice this Saturday, but if we had to make a guess, we'd pick Biltmore Fashion Park in Phoenix as the likeliest candidate for the on-deck circle. However, this guess is provided for entertainment purposes only, so as always, folks, please-- no wagering.